In this youth-obsessive era, people fight ageing
with every fibre of their being. From cosmetic
procedures to 'lifting' the eyelids, to 'wiping off' of
crow's feet from the corners of the eyes and the
mouth, not to mention chest augmentation, etc.,
many people would do anything to remain
youthful-looking.
While we may succeed in rejuvenating the skin
around the face and neck with costly body creams
and surgical intervention, the hairs in the body
usually refuse to cooperate. As such, by the time
the average person is 35 years old, gray hairs
would have started sprouting up in some parts of
the head.
For sure, it's not only the hairs on the head that go
gray, as the hairs on the arms, eyelids, the brows,
legs and… (you know where else) gradually lose
their natural shine and lustre, turning unattractive
and becoming hoarse as they turn grayish.
Researchers say your chance of going silvery
increases 10-20 per cent every decade after you hit
age 30. In essence, therefore, we all have a date
with hoary head; only that gene, stress levels and
other factors predispose individuals to when they
develop gray hair.
But then, imagine getting older without developing
leaden hair! This is the assurance coming from
English scientists who studied 2,411 patients by
examining the activities of hydrogen peroxide in
the hair.
In the new online research report published in The
Federation of American Societies for Experimental
Biology Journal, researchers at Bradford
University's School of Life Sciences say those who
go gray develop "massive epidermal oxidative
stress" through the accumulation of hydrogen
peroxide in the hair follicle, causing their hair to
bleach itself from the inside out.
Professor of cell biology at the University of
Bradford in England, Dr. Desmond Tobin, suggests
that hair turns gray because of age and genetics.
He notes that genes regulate the exhaustion of the
pigmentary potential of hair follicles. For some
people, he says, the process occurs rapidly; while
in others, it occurs slowly over several decades.
Scientists say various factors make hair grey. They
include genetic defects, hormones, body
distribution, age, climate, pollutants, toxins and
chemical exposure.
To beat the gray, people resort to dying their hair.
And, unlike other beauty treatments that are
exclusive to women, both sexes indulge in the war
against argentine head.
The hair dye industry is a multi-billion-dollar
business globally, and the market is burgeoning
with choice of various shades, which can be in form
of powder, liquid or cream.
Experts say hair dyes may be temporary, covering
the surface of the hair but not penetrating into the
hair shaft. They generally last between one and
two washings. Dyes may be semi-permanent, in
which case they don't penetrate into the hair shaft
and typically lasts between five and 10 washings.
Permanent (oxidative) dyes cause lasting chemical
changes in the hair shaft, and are the most popular
among users because the colour changes last until
the hair is replaced by new growth.
Hair treatment specialist and salon operator, Mrs.
Tinu Oladele, says the dye "restores the hair's
original colour, makes it shine, while it also gives
hair a kind of hitherto elusive fullness that makes
you look younger than your real age."
Well, cosmetologists may give hair dye thumbs-up,
physicians say dying your hair poses certain health
risks.
Professor of Anatomy and Consultant
Endocrinologist, Oladapo Ashiru, says some of the
ingredients in hair dyes can cause allergic
reactions that may result in severe skin and eye
irritation in some people. He notes that eye
irritation can seriously affect vision and, very
rarely, lead to blindness.
Experts also note that hair dyes can actually cause
hair loss in some people. In addition, Ashiru says
certain ingredients in hair dye could make users
develop cancer of lymph tissue (Hodgkins disease),
or cancer of plasma cells (multiple myeloma,
affecting the bones, immune system, kidneys and
red blood cell count).
Data from America's National Cancer Institute
suggest that the use of hair dye has an association
with chest cancer, as the ingredient, para-
phenylenediamine, found in nearly all hair
colouring products, was shown to be carcinogenic
to the chest.
The NCI data also claims that both men and
women hair dye users are at "heavily increased
risk" for bladder and other cancers.
As for women, using certain hair dyes shortly
before pregnancy or while pregnant heightens the
risk of cancer in their babies by as much as 10-fold,
experts warn.
Experts also reveal that almost 70 per cent of the
hair colouring products contain coal tar, which can
be easily absorbed through the skin and trigger
allergic reactions.
To save hair dye users from these health problems,
the Bradford team says it has discovered that
accumulation of hydrogen peroxide — which leads
to graying — can be remedied with a proprietary
treatment.
They describe the preparation as "a topical,
UltravioletB-activated compound called PC-KUS (a
modified pseudocatalase." UVB is also used
therapeutically for treatment of skin disorders like
vitiligo that causes a loss of pigmentation.
Since the scientists have yet to tell us when their
product will hit the market, the United States Food
and Drug Administration advises people who want
to dye their hair but are concerned about safety to
follow these suggestions:
• Consider delaying dyeing your hair until later
in life when it starts to turn gray
• Consider using henna, which is largely plant-
based
• Be sure to do a patch test for allergic reactions
before putting the dye in your hair Do a patch test
before every use
• Carefully follow the directions on the hair dye
package
• Wear gloves when applying hair dye
• Don't leave the dye on your head any longer
than necessary
• Rinse your scalp thoroughly with water after
use
• Never mix different hair dye products, because
you may cause potentially harmful reactions
• Never dye your eyebrows or eyelashes
Source: cancer.org
This is the right zone to share your emotional feelings and get tips and advice so as to be successful in your relationship, dating, love, sex, marital, romantic life etc. Your comments are highly welcomed anytime you read an article here! Send stories u wish to share to bjstardom06@hotmail.com
Wednesday, May 22, 2013
How to be fat and still be a fit person
New research shows you can't judge a person's
fitness by looks alone. Here, the surprising new
thinking on size and exercise.
Your Weight and Fitness
There are two large women who've been in boot
camp with me for years. They almost never miss a
class and never take it easy. Yet as I've lunged,
squatted, and planked alongside them nearly daily,
I'm ashamed to admit that one question has
occasionally bounced around my brain: With all
that exercise, after all this time, why aren't these
women in better shape?
Then came the 2012 Olympic Games. The world
was poised to witness its most formidable female
athletes lock horns in London. And what did we
hear? Slams against Australian swimmer Leisel
Jones, declaring the eight-time medalist fat and
thus unfit to represent her country. Cheap shots
about muffin tops and saddlebags on the British
women's beach volleyball team. And tweets about
British swimmer Rebecca Adlington's physique
that became so vicious, she dropped off Twitter
altogether. "These women made it to the Olympics,
for god's sake. How unfit could they be?" I found
myself ranting at the TV.
Then I thought, sheepishly, about the women at
boot camp. It became clear to me that the knee-
jerk connection I and apparently others might
make between how much a person weighs and how
physically fit and healthy she is needed some
serious reevaluation.
The New Thinking on Weight
Recent research suggests that being overweight or
even obese may not, in and of itself, be the health
threat we think it is. A 2012 study from the
National Cancer Institute found that moderately
obese people actually lived about 3.1 years longer
than normal-weight women and men. Another
study, published in the European Heart Journal,
showed that when obese people are metabolically
healthy — which means their blood pressure,
cholesterol, blood sugar and other indicators fall
within a healthy range — they are at no greater
risk of dying from heart disease or cancer than
those who are of normal weight.
"What we're learning is that a body that exercises
regularly is generally a healthy body, whether that
body is fat or thin," says Glenn Gaesser, PhD, a
professor of exercise and wellness at Arizona State
University and the author of Big Fat Lies: The Truth
About Your Weight and Your Health. Case in point,
the metabolically healthy participants in the
European Heart Journal study were generally more
physically fit than their obese peers. "The message
should really be that if you are exercising regularly,
you shouldn't necessarily be looking at the scale to
determine how healthy or fit you are," Gaesser
says.
There are a multitude of reasons that movement is
such strong medicine: Because muscles are the
largest consumers of sugar in the body, increased
muscle mass reduces the chance of excess sugar
accumulating in the blood, which is essentially
what diabetes is. Regular physical activity reduces
inflammation in the cardiovascular system and
affects the secretion of clotting hormones, allowing
blood to flow more easily to muscles and
preventing the formation of deadly clots. Moderate
exercise (at least 150 minutes a week of medium-
intensity exercise like walking) combined with diet
changes can also reduce the amount of potentially
deadly fat in the liver. And study after study has
shown that overweight and obese people who work
out can reap such benefits and improve their
metabolic health even if they don't shed a pound.
The Skinny on Fat
None of this is to say that we can pack on pounds
without worry. Carrying a lot of weight around
increases stress on joints and can make us less
inclined to be active. There's also the plain reality
that the more overweight you are, the more likely
it is that your metabolic health will take a hit, now
or in the future. "Given the choice, I come down
almost always on the side that being overweight is
a bad thing," says Walter R. Thompson, PhD, a
professor of exercise science at Georgia State
University in Atlanta.
But choice is a loaded word for many obesity
experts, as well as for countless individuals who
have waged a lifelong war with their weight. "I
spent the first part of my life struggling with being
fat. I would lose weight on diets, gain it back, and
each time end up feeling horrible about myself,"
says Hanne Blank, the author of The Unapologetic
Fat Girl's Guide to Exercise and Other Incendiary
Acts. "Only as I've come into my own as an adult
have I made peace with the fact that I may always
be big." It's a brutal realization that seems to bear
itself out in the big picture: As many as two-thirds
of us end up regaining more weight than we lose
while dieting.
Pinning ambitious weight-loss hopes on exercise
hasn't panned out too well, either. At five feet four
inches and 172 pounds, Sherry Norris, 42, of
Norcross, Georgia, knows this firsthand. A
dedicated exerciser, Sherry alternates running and
working out to the Insanity DVD program on most
days and ran her first marathon last year. "I've
followed all the directions and done the training
plans, and I've lost exactly five pounds. At this
point I have no idea how to get the weight off," she
says.
Within the past few years numerous studies have
borne out exactly what Sherry is experiencing:
Despite the extra calories we burn, many of us fail
to lose weight — and may even gain some — after
embarking on an exercise program. This could be
because our appetite is triggered by vigorous
activity; we reward ourselves for our efforts with
food, or we spend more time vegging out on the
couch when we're not at the gym.
Then there's the tricky topic of metabolism.
"Exercise doesn't rev up the metabolism, as we've
been led to believe," says Diana Thomas, PhD, an
author of a study from the Center for Quantitative
Obesity Research at Montclair State University in
New Jersey. "We found that when volunteers who
were put on an exercise regimen began to lose
weight, their metabolic rate — how many calories
they would burn while sitting and doing nothing —
actually began to drop." Thomas and her
colleagues suspect that metabolic slowing may be
the body's protective attempt to preserve energy
when it senses that more calories are being burned
through exercise. Plus a fit body operates more
efficiently — the heart doesn't have to pump as
fast, breathing is less rapid — and that also
reduces how many calories we burn all day.
Making long-term weight loss even more elusive is
the fact that we each may have our own personal
set point, a range of about 10 to 20 pounds in
which the body biologically tries to stay despite our
efforts. This means that weight loss is biologically
resisted in some people. Also, our appetite makes
it too easy to override the upper threshold of our
set-point range, so we gain weight, says Linda
Bacon, PhD, the author of Health at Every Size: The
Surprising Truth About Your Weight.
The net result of these many hurdles: Even if
people do lose some weight from exercise, they
often don't lose as much as they expect to. For
many, that's reason enough to abandon boot camp
and head back to the couch.
Eyeing a Different Prize
That, Thomas says, is a crying shame. Because
even if pounds don't disappear, a big fat change is
probably taking shape. "Adding regular physical
activity can reduce the proportion of fat to muscle
and affect where fat is distributed," Thomas says.
In particular, as little as a 20-minute daily walk can
reduce the amount of visceral fat that reaches
deep into the abdomen. That's the fat that health
experts worry about, because it is linked to heart
disease, diabetes, and a higher mortality rate.
There's even evidence suggesting that exercise
stimulates the production of a substance called
irisin in muscle tissue. This hormone appears to
transform white fat cells, like those in belly fat, into
brown fat cells, which are metabolically active and
actually burn calories.
"The scale doesn't necessarily reflect all of this,"
Thomas says. Neither does the body mass index
(BMI), which uses only height and weight to
estimate how much body fat we ostensibly have.
This is why a growing number of doctors are now
measuring patients' waist circumference as part of
their standard physical exams. And it's why
Thomas and colleagues at Pennington Biomedical
Research Center in Baton Rouge, Louisiana, have
devised an index that takes body shape into
account when assessing a person's health. The
body roundness calculator (pbrc.edu/
bodyroundness) uses hip and waist measurements
in addition to weight and height. The closer to a
circle shape a person is, the more visceral body fat
she has. "We're catching people who are out of the
'safe shape' zone but who are not visibly apple
shaped. There are also people whose BMI may
indicate obesity but whose body roundness is
healthy. It's a much better reflection of a person's
health overall," Thomas says.
Big Accomplishments
But can women who are packing an extra 25, 50, or
even 75 pounds on their frame actually kick a*s
athletically? "They might pay a price when it
comes to speed," says Chuck Hobbs, the head
coach for Fit2Train, a triathlon team in Dallas. But
in terms of strength and endurance, the answer is,
hell, yes. Consider the group of athletes recruited
for a recent study at the Institute for Exercise and
Environmental Medicine at Texas Health
Presbyterian Hospital of Dallas. All of them are
seriously accomplished, having participated in
multiple Ironman competitions, marathons, or
distance cycling events. And all of them are obese,
with fat making up more than 30 percent of their
body weight. "From a cardiorespiratory standpoint,
they are very strong and very healthy," says the
study's lead author, Santiago Lorenzo, PhD, a
cardiopulmonary researcher at the institute. "They
have outstanding endurance and are comparable
in fitness to fellow athletes of normal weight."
What's more, Lorenzo and other experts suspect
that an obese athlete's body can actually become
stronger from carrying its own weight. In essence,
the extra pounds provide built-in resistance
training, especially for the lungs, which can have
trouble inflating fully when there is a lot of fat in
the chest cavity. "The bodies of the obese athletes
in our study have adapted after years of
conditioning," Lorenzo explains. "They have
developed an ability to generate higher airflow and
deliver ample oxygen to their blood and muscles.
For typical obese people who want to become
active, this may mean that they are not going to
have the limitations we previously assumed they
would."
Minor Changes, Major Benefits
For those who set their sights on the fat-but-fit
paradigm and aspire to a healthier body,
metamorphosis doesn't come easy, however.
Packing extra poundage can make it hard to get
down on the floor or up from it or to move freely.
There's also an emotional component: "They need
to find environments where they won't be bullied
and where they can actually enjoy and excel at
what they're doing," Hobbs says. "When they are
confident about what their body can do, they
become more motivated to take good care of it.
Real change begins to happen."
When the author Hanne Blank retrained her focus
on exercise instead of food, her eating habits and
her weight finally reached an even keel after years
of yo-yoing. And every one of the active large
women interviewed for this story drove home the
fact that making regular exercise a part of her life
has caused her to feel happier as well as more
empowered, attractive, and inclined to take on
greater physical challenges.
All of which is reason for us to stop using the word
normal when we talk about weight and start
focusing on realistic goals and expectations,
including exercising regularly and being more
active every day. These are words to live by for
Blank, who is happy just to get out and get sweaty.
"It's been almost 10 years since I took my life off
hold and decided to become physically active in
spite of my weight. I'm out there almost every day,
walking, biking, hiking, or weight lifting. I feel
comfortable in my body. I'm energetic and
healthy," Blank says. "But even people close to me
sometimes shake their heads and ask why I'm still
fat. And I tell them, 'Because I am. That's just what
I've got!'"
Related: 8 Ways to Burn More Fat, Without
Even Trying
Are You Heavy?
Don't stop moving just because the scale has. If
you're feeling discouraged, keep these important
points in mind.
There's no need to suffer.
If you detest every minute you spend on a
treadmill or Spinning bike, you'll never stick with
it. Find an activity — kickboxing, ballroom dancing,
walking with friends — that you'll want to make a
near-daily part of your life.
You're not alone.
Does being surrounded by smaller, buff bodies at
the gym sound like hell? Sign up for tours at
several clubs near you to find one where you'll feel
comfortable and that has classes that appeal to
you. Party-atmosphere Zumba classes are
particularly welcoming, as are CrossFit classes,
where there's a team dynamic.
You can look great right now.
Enough with the shapeless sweats and tees!
Workout wear that fits and supports your body will
have you sweating in style and performing at your
best..
fitness by looks alone. Here, the surprising new
thinking on size and exercise.
Your Weight and Fitness
There are two large women who've been in boot
camp with me for years. They almost never miss a
class and never take it easy. Yet as I've lunged,
squatted, and planked alongside them nearly daily,
I'm ashamed to admit that one question has
occasionally bounced around my brain: With all
that exercise, after all this time, why aren't these
women in better shape?
Then came the 2012 Olympic Games. The world
was poised to witness its most formidable female
athletes lock horns in London. And what did we
hear? Slams against Australian swimmer Leisel
Jones, declaring the eight-time medalist fat and
thus unfit to represent her country. Cheap shots
about muffin tops and saddlebags on the British
women's beach volleyball team. And tweets about
British swimmer Rebecca Adlington's physique
that became so vicious, she dropped off Twitter
altogether. "These women made it to the Olympics,
for god's sake. How unfit could they be?" I found
myself ranting at the TV.
Then I thought, sheepishly, about the women at
boot camp. It became clear to me that the knee-
jerk connection I and apparently others might
make between how much a person weighs and how
physically fit and healthy she is needed some
serious reevaluation.
The New Thinking on Weight
Recent research suggests that being overweight or
even obese may not, in and of itself, be the health
threat we think it is. A 2012 study from the
National Cancer Institute found that moderately
obese people actually lived about 3.1 years longer
than normal-weight women and men. Another
study, published in the European Heart Journal,
showed that when obese people are metabolically
healthy — which means their blood pressure,
cholesterol, blood sugar and other indicators fall
within a healthy range — they are at no greater
risk of dying from heart disease or cancer than
those who are of normal weight.
"What we're learning is that a body that exercises
regularly is generally a healthy body, whether that
body is fat or thin," says Glenn Gaesser, PhD, a
professor of exercise and wellness at Arizona State
University and the author of Big Fat Lies: The Truth
About Your Weight and Your Health. Case in point,
the metabolically healthy participants in the
European Heart Journal study were generally more
physically fit than their obese peers. "The message
should really be that if you are exercising regularly,
you shouldn't necessarily be looking at the scale to
determine how healthy or fit you are," Gaesser
says.
There are a multitude of reasons that movement is
such strong medicine: Because muscles are the
largest consumers of sugar in the body, increased
muscle mass reduces the chance of excess sugar
accumulating in the blood, which is essentially
what diabetes is. Regular physical activity reduces
inflammation in the cardiovascular system and
affects the secretion of clotting hormones, allowing
blood to flow more easily to muscles and
preventing the formation of deadly clots. Moderate
exercise (at least 150 minutes a week of medium-
intensity exercise like walking) combined with diet
changes can also reduce the amount of potentially
deadly fat in the liver. And study after study has
shown that overweight and obese people who work
out can reap such benefits and improve their
metabolic health even if they don't shed a pound.
The Skinny on Fat
None of this is to say that we can pack on pounds
without worry. Carrying a lot of weight around
increases stress on joints and can make us less
inclined to be active. There's also the plain reality
that the more overweight you are, the more likely
it is that your metabolic health will take a hit, now
or in the future. "Given the choice, I come down
almost always on the side that being overweight is
a bad thing," says Walter R. Thompson, PhD, a
professor of exercise science at Georgia State
University in Atlanta.
But choice is a loaded word for many obesity
experts, as well as for countless individuals who
have waged a lifelong war with their weight. "I
spent the first part of my life struggling with being
fat. I would lose weight on diets, gain it back, and
each time end up feeling horrible about myself,"
says Hanne Blank, the author of The Unapologetic
Fat Girl's Guide to Exercise and Other Incendiary
Acts. "Only as I've come into my own as an adult
have I made peace with the fact that I may always
be big." It's a brutal realization that seems to bear
itself out in the big picture: As many as two-thirds
of us end up regaining more weight than we lose
while dieting.
Pinning ambitious weight-loss hopes on exercise
hasn't panned out too well, either. At five feet four
inches and 172 pounds, Sherry Norris, 42, of
Norcross, Georgia, knows this firsthand. A
dedicated exerciser, Sherry alternates running and
working out to the Insanity DVD program on most
days and ran her first marathon last year. "I've
followed all the directions and done the training
plans, and I've lost exactly five pounds. At this
point I have no idea how to get the weight off," she
says.
Within the past few years numerous studies have
borne out exactly what Sherry is experiencing:
Despite the extra calories we burn, many of us fail
to lose weight — and may even gain some — after
embarking on an exercise program. This could be
because our appetite is triggered by vigorous
activity; we reward ourselves for our efforts with
food, or we spend more time vegging out on the
couch when we're not at the gym.
Then there's the tricky topic of metabolism.
"Exercise doesn't rev up the metabolism, as we've
been led to believe," says Diana Thomas, PhD, an
author of a study from the Center for Quantitative
Obesity Research at Montclair State University in
New Jersey. "We found that when volunteers who
were put on an exercise regimen began to lose
weight, their metabolic rate — how many calories
they would burn while sitting and doing nothing —
actually began to drop." Thomas and her
colleagues suspect that metabolic slowing may be
the body's protective attempt to preserve energy
when it senses that more calories are being burned
through exercise. Plus a fit body operates more
efficiently — the heart doesn't have to pump as
fast, breathing is less rapid — and that also
reduces how many calories we burn all day.
Making long-term weight loss even more elusive is
the fact that we each may have our own personal
set point, a range of about 10 to 20 pounds in
which the body biologically tries to stay despite our
efforts. This means that weight loss is biologically
resisted in some people. Also, our appetite makes
it too easy to override the upper threshold of our
set-point range, so we gain weight, says Linda
Bacon, PhD, the author of Health at Every Size: The
Surprising Truth About Your Weight.
The net result of these many hurdles: Even if
people do lose some weight from exercise, they
often don't lose as much as they expect to. For
many, that's reason enough to abandon boot camp
and head back to the couch.
Eyeing a Different Prize
That, Thomas says, is a crying shame. Because
even if pounds don't disappear, a big fat change is
probably taking shape. "Adding regular physical
activity can reduce the proportion of fat to muscle
and affect where fat is distributed," Thomas says.
In particular, as little as a 20-minute daily walk can
reduce the amount of visceral fat that reaches
deep into the abdomen. That's the fat that health
experts worry about, because it is linked to heart
disease, diabetes, and a higher mortality rate.
There's even evidence suggesting that exercise
stimulates the production of a substance called
irisin in muscle tissue. This hormone appears to
transform white fat cells, like those in belly fat, into
brown fat cells, which are metabolically active and
actually burn calories.
"The scale doesn't necessarily reflect all of this,"
Thomas says. Neither does the body mass index
(BMI), which uses only height and weight to
estimate how much body fat we ostensibly have.
This is why a growing number of doctors are now
measuring patients' waist circumference as part of
their standard physical exams. And it's why
Thomas and colleagues at Pennington Biomedical
Research Center in Baton Rouge, Louisiana, have
devised an index that takes body shape into
account when assessing a person's health. The
body roundness calculator (pbrc.edu/
bodyroundness) uses hip and waist measurements
in addition to weight and height. The closer to a
circle shape a person is, the more visceral body fat
she has. "We're catching people who are out of the
'safe shape' zone but who are not visibly apple
shaped. There are also people whose BMI may
indicate obesity but whose body roundness is
healthy. It's a much better reflection of a person's
health overall," Thomas says.
Big Accomplishments
But can women who are packing an extra 25, 50, or
even 75 pounds on their frame actually kick a*s
athletically? "They might pay a price when it
comes to speed," says Chuck Hobbs, the head
coach for Fit2Train, a triathlon team in Dallas. But
in terms of strength and endurance, the answer is,
hell, yes. Consider the group of athletes recruited
for a recent study at the Institute for Exercise and
Environmental Medicine at Texas Health
Presbyterian Hospital of Dallas. All of them are
seriously accomplished, having participated in
multiple Ironman competitions, marathons, or
distance cycling events. And all of them are obese,
with fat making up more than 30 percent of their
body weight. "From a cardiorespiratory standpoint,
they are very strong and very healthy," says the
study's lead author, Santiago Lorenzo, PhD, a
cardiopulmonary researcher at the institute. "They
have outstanding endurance and are comparable
in fitness to fellow athletes of normal weight."
What's more, Lorenzo and other experts suspect
that an obese athlete's body can actually become
stronger from carrying its own weight. In essence,
the extra pounds provide built-in resistance
training, especially for the lungs, which can have
trouble inflating fully when there is a lot of fat in
the chest cavity. "The bodies of the obese athletes
in our study have adapted after years of
conditioning," Lorenzo explains. "They have
developed an ability to generate higher airflow and
deliver ample oxygen to their blood and muscles.
For typical obese people who want to become
active, this may mean that they are not going to
have the limitations we previously assumed they
would."
Minor Changes, Major Benefits
For those who set their sights on the fat-but-fit
paradigm and aspire to a healthier body,
metamorphosis doesn't come easy, however.
Packing extra poundage can make it hard to get
down on the floor or up from it or to move freely.
There's also an emotional component: "They need
to find environments where they won't be bullied
and where they can actually enjoy and excel at
what they're doing," Hobbs says. "When they are
confident about what their body can do, they
become more motivated to take good care of it.
Real change begins to happen."
When the author Hanne Blank retrained her focus
on exercise instead of food, her eating habits and
her weight finally reached an even keel after years
of yo-yoing. And every one of the active large
women interviewed for this story drove home the
fact that making regular exercise a part of her life
has caused her to feel happier as well as more
empowered, attractive, and inclined to take on
greater physical challenges.
All of which is reason for us to stop using the word
normal when we talk about weight and start
focusing on realistic goals and expectations,
including exercising regularly and being more
active every day. These are words to live by for
Blank, who is happy just to get out and get sweaty.
"It's been almost 10 years since I took my life off
hold and decided to become physically active in
spite of my weight. I'm out there almost every day,
walking, biking, hiking, or weight lifting. I feel
comfortable in my body. I'm energetic and
healthy," Blank says. "But even people close to me
sometimes shake their heads and ask why I'm still
fat. And I tell them, 'Because I am. That's just what
I've got!'"
Related: 8 Ways to Burn More Fat, Without
Even Trying
Are You Heavy?
Don't stop moving just because the scale has. If
you're feeling discouraged, keep these important
points in mind.
There's no need to suffer.
If you detest every minute you spend on a
treadmill or Spinning bike, you'll never stick with
it. Find an activity — kickboxing, ballroom dancing,
walking with friends — that you'll want to make a
near-daily part of your life.
You're not alone.
Does being surrounded by smaller, buff bodies at
the gym sound like hell? Sign up for tours at
several clubs near you to find one where you'll feel
comfortable and that has classes that appeal to
you. Party-atmosphere Zumba classes are
particularly welcoming, as are CrossFit classes,
where there's a team dynamic.
You can look great right now.
Enough with the shapeless sweats and tees!
Workout wear that fits and supports your body will
have you sweating in style and performing at your
best..
How to deal with finances in your relationship
We are all in one form of a relationship or the
other; a relationship with a parent, spouse, partner,
child, friend, employer, employee. We all know how
important money conversations can be and also
how awkward they get if not handled well. There
are various reasons why money conversations can
put us under some strain; reasons include – loss of
income, one person spending too much, different
attitudes toward money. Earning inequalities
particularly in a patriarchal society can lead to
unease, resentment, and arguments.
How do you define financial intimacy?
Financial intimacy is about having the ability to be
open and trusting about money matters in your
relationship. Unfortunately, many couples do not
enjoy this experience; in fact many feel vulnerable
and unsafe and tend to be secretive and hide the
true picture of their finances from their partner. So
many couples have serious and recurring
arguments about money; indeed money issues
have been cited as being a leading cause of marital
and relationship palaver.
What is your attitude to money?
Money has been a subject that has traditionally
been swept under the carpet and it was considered
improper to talk about it. Attitudes to money are
formed very early on in life and usually develop
over many years. You may not even realize the full
effect of your childhood experiences,
circumstances, and your parent's attitude towards
money; indeed many people simply assume the
savings and money management habits of their
parents. Was money a highly sensitive topic? This
could make you very reticent about talking about
money. Were your parents very frugal, disciplined
savers, or were they spendthrifts? You may not
even realize that you have inherited some
behaviour patterns from them; once you
acknowledge this and recognize it for what it is,
you will have a new awareness in dealing with
these issues.
Here are a few simple tips to help you navigate
your relationship with money.
Are you dating?
Before you commit, try to determine how your
partner handles the big issues of real life, including
financial matters. Discuss your dreams and goals.
If your individual goals coincide, it makes it much
easier to accomplish them. If they collide, see if it
is possible for you to accommodate the differences
assuming that there are enough common goals to
build a solid future together. Money will be
involved in almost everything you aspire to do in
your lives together, so it is important that your
goals are in sync or at least are compatible.
Where finances are tight, try to build in activities
that don't involve a lot of money into your social
life. Eating at home, going out for a walk, having a
picnic in the park or at the beach, playing a board
game, are just a few ways of enjoying quality time
without spending a lot of money.
Borrowing can present some challenges so do
consider carefully before you borrow from your
loved one. Determine in advance how you will deal
with debt and whether it needs to be formalised in
any way. Often some discomfort occurs where one
party has lent some money and the other never
mentions it again. Without communication such
issues may fester and eventually lead to crisis.
Are you planning to get married?
Don't go overboard with your wedding costs and
certainly don't go into debt over the wedding. It is
more important to focus on your lives together
than on the lavish party. If you can't afford a huge
wedding now, have something much simpler; you
can always celebrate again when you can afford it.
It is usual to receive monetary gifts at weddings
and other celebrations. Don't spend it all. Set aside
as much as you can to invest in your future plans
to raise a family, own your own home or business.
You will probably need to review your investments
as your goals come together. With the assets your
partner brings into the relationship, you may
achieve some investment flexibility that you could
not have otherwise achieved while you were single.
Merging your financial lives
Every couple must find a structure that works for
them. You must decide who will be responsible for
paying certain bills, taking the lead in the family
finances and so on. Remember, you are two
different people with different attitudes. One of you
might be a saver whilst the other is a big spender.
If you like to manage your own money and be in
control of your financial affairs and you are very
focused and success oriented and are in a
relationship with someone who is financially
immature or maybe even irresponsible with
money, this could lead to conflict.
Will you have separate or joint accounts or a
combination of the two? Having a joint account
combined with individual accounts for personal
expenses is a good compromise as each partner
takes some responsibility for the household
budget, yet is still able to retain some autonomy.
Partners contribute a certain amount of their
monthly salary into the joint account to cover
routine household expenses such as food, utility
bills and so on. Some couples decide to pay their
salaries into the joint account and then pay
themselves a monthly allowance.
Plan to create a budget that can accommodate
both of you within reason. One person will be
better equipped to handle money matters whilst
ensuring that both parties can retain some
flexibility and independence, which many crave. Be
guided more by what suits your individual
personalities, talents or skills and not by gender.
Starting a family
Sometimes one partner must stay at home beyond
the traditional maternity leave period while the
other works full-time. What model can you adopt
regarding your finances? Will the homemaker be
paid a "salary" for her significant services? An
arrangement should be put in place that shows
respect for this most critical role.
If you can afford to, and decides to stay at home,
don't neglect your talents and career skills.
Consider part-time work or starting a small
business to seek to maintain your skills and
contacts. This might be a good time to consider
going back to school part-time to improve your
financial prospects. All these actions will help ease
your transition back into the workplace.
Don't forget to consider your mortality as morbid
as it sounds. If you haven't already done so, this is
a good time to prepare your will or put another
estate planning arrangements in place which
address guardianship issues should anything
happen to you.
Have you remarried?
Money matters may well have been a major
problem in your previous marriage. Talk about
those differences so that your new partner can
have a better understanding of your concerns. It is
important to discuss in advance how
responsibilities will be shared for any children from
previous marriages who live with both of you and
how their expenses will be handled.
Difficulties with communication lie at the root of
some of the distressing financial issues that
couples face. Just being able to communicate
about money in an easy, healthy way can help ease
tensions. As far as possible share your financial
concerns with your partner and benefit from
practical suggestions and support. Remember
however, that each relationship is different and it is
important for you to understand the vagaries
of your own relationship in informing your actions
other; a relationship with a parent, spouse, partner,
child, friend, employer, employee. We all know how
important money conversations can be and also
how awkward they get if not handled well. There
are various reasons why money conversations can
put us under some strain; reasons include – loss of
income, one person spending too much, different
attitudes toward money. Earning inequalities
particularly in a patriarchal society can lead to
unease, resentment, and arguments.
How do you define financial intimacy?
Financial intimacy is about having the ability to be
open and trusting about money matters in your
relationship. Unfortunately, many couples do not
enjoy this experience; in fact many feel vulnerable
and unsafe and tend to be secretive and hide the
true picture of their finances from their partner. So
many couples have serious and recurring
arguments about money; indeed money issues
have been cited as being a leading cause of marital
and relationship palaver.
What is your attitude to money?
Money has been a subject that has traditionally
been swept under the carpet and it was considered
improper to talk about it. Attitudes to money are
formed very early on in life and usually develop
over many years. You may not even realize the full
effect of your childhood experiences,
circumstances, and your parent's attitude towards
money; indeed many people simply assume the
savings and money management habits of their
parents. Was money a highly sensitive topic? This
could make you very reticent about talking about
money. Were your parents very frugal, disciplined
savers, or were they spendthrifts? You may not
even realize that you have inherited some
behaviour patterns from them; once you
acknowledge this and recognize it for what it is,
you will have a new awareness in dealing with
these issues.
Here are a few simple tips to help you navigate
your relationship with money.
Are you dating?
Before you commit, try to determine how your
partner handles the big issues of real life, including
financial matters. Discuss your dreams and goals.
If your individual goals coincide, it makes it much
easier to accomplish them. If they collide, see if it
is possible for you to accommodate the differences
assuming that there are enough common goals to
build a solid future together. Money will be
involved in almost everything you aspire to do in
your lives together, so it is important that your
goals are in sync or at least are compatible.
Where finances are tight, try to build in activities
that don't involve a lot of money into your social
life. Eating at home, going out for a walk, having a
picnic in the park or at the beach, playing a board
game, are just a few ways of enjoying quality time
without spending a lot of money.
Borrowing can present some challenges so do
consider carefully before you borrow from your
loved one. Determine in advance how you will deal
with debt and whether it needs to be formalised in
any way. Often some discomfort occurs where one
party has lent some money and the other never
mentions it again. Without communication such
issues may fester and eventually lead to crisis.
Are you planning to get married?
Don't go overboard with your wedding costs and
certainly don't go into debt over the wedding. It is
more important to focus on your lives together
than on the lavish party. If you can't afford a huge
wedding now, have something much simpler; you
can always celebrate again when you can afford it.
It is usual to receive monetary gifts at weddings
and other celebrations. Don't spend it all. Set aside
as much as you can to invest in your future plans
to raise a family, own your own home or business.
You will probably need to review your investments
as your goals come together. With the assets your
partner brings into the relationship, you may
achieve some investment flexibility that you could
not have otherwise achieved while you were single.
Merging your financial lives
Every couple must find a structure that works for
them. You must decide who will be responsible for
paying certain bills, taking the lead in the family
finances and so on. Remember, you are two
different people with different attitudes. One of you
might be a saver whilst the other is a big spender.
If you like to manage your own money and be in
control of your financial affairs and you are very
focused and success oriented and are in a
relationship with someone who is financially
immature or maybe even irresponsible with
money, this could lead to conflict.
Will you have separate or joint accounts or a
combination of the two? Having a joint account
combined with individual accounts for personal
expenses is a good compromise as each partner
takes some responsibility for the household
budget, yet is still able to retain some autonomy.
Partners contribute a certain amount of their
monthly salary into the joint account to cover
routine household expenses such as food, utility
bills and so on. Some couples decide to pay their
salaries into the joint account and then pay
themselves a monthly allowance.
Plan to create a budget that can accommodate
both of you within reason. One person will be
better equipped to handle money matters whilst
ensuring that both parties can retain some
flexibility and independence, which many crave. Be
guided more by what suits your individual
personalities, talents or skills and not by gender.
Starting a family
Sometimes one partner must stay at home beyond
the traditional maternity leave period while the
other works full-time. What model can you adopt
regarding your finances? Will the homemaker be
paid a "salary" for her significant services? An
arrangement should be put in place that shows
respect for this most critical role.
If you can afford to, and decides to stay at home,
don't neglect your talents and career skills.
Consider part-time work or starting a small
business to seek to maintain your skills and
contacts. This might be a good time to consider
going back to school part-time to improve your
financial prospects. All these actions will help ease
your transition back into the workplace.
Don't forget to consider your mortality as morbid
as it sounds. If you haven't already done so, this is
a good time to prepare your will or put another
estate planning arrangements in place which
address guardianship issues should anything
happen to you.
Have you remarried?
Money matters may well have been a major
problem in your previous marriage. Talk about
those differences so that your new partner can
have a better understanding of your concerns. It is
important to discuss in advance how
responsibilities will be shared for any children from
previous marriages who live with both of you and
how their expenses will be handled.
Difficulties with communication lie at the root of
some of the distressing financial issues that
couples face. Just being able to communicate
about money in an easy, healthy way can help ease
tensions. As far as possible share your financial
concerns with your partner and benefit from
practical suggestions and support. Remember
however, that each relationship is different and it is
important for you to understand the vagaries
of your own relationship in informing your actions
Tips on how to become an independent woman
1. Identify your femaleness.
Find that part of you that makes you a special female
specifically. Do you have pretty eyes? A lyrical voice?
Flowing hair? Find something that you can look at
your feminine side and say now that is something
woman about me. It doesn't have to be an
appearance characteristic, but definitely something
men just can't pull off like you do.
2. Find a strong woman you believe in.
Emulate her. Look to Audrey Hepburn, Mother Teresa,
Hillary Clinton, your mother, your best friend's big
sister, anyone! Find a woman you appreciate. Next
time you need to be strong think to yourself, "What
would (insert name) do?"
3. Cut out all the drama.
It can be hard but confident strong women don't
appreciate gossip and over the top emotional
situations. You can be a tender, emotional, easily
moved woman. That does not mean you need to talk
about other people's business. When gossip comes
up in conversation think classy and don't contribute.
4. Start talking to people and be proud of what
you have to say.
Confidence is key. It can be very difficult when you
are a reserved woman, but speaking up changes
everything. Make conversation with strangers (in an
appropriate, non-threatening manner) and stay
involved in current events and newsworthy topics to
help make wise up-to-date chit chat. When speaking
to those you already know speak more than you
usually do, but give people a chance to speak about
themselves as well. (No one likes to do anything
more than talk about themselves and taking that
away is dangerous.) Remember to be proud, patient,
pensive when speaking. You don't want to come off
as cheeky or boastful so thoroughly thinking through
your statements can be helpful.
5. Kiss the past goodbye.
If you're doing an internal make over than wiping
your past clean can be a great mental break. Take a
step back and think to yourself, "I woke up this
morning a powerful female. I'm staying that way no
matter what comes my way, and anything I did
yesterday can just melt away. I'm not doing that
again." And if your past ever does come back to bite
you, supply an apology from a place of both humility
and strength. If you feel the need to let these people
know you're moving on tell them so. They may not
agree and the band-aid formed may not hold, but you
will be happier internally if you stay strong, don't
lash out, and keep your cool.
6. Keep your convictions.
Don't run from fights. Wanting to avoid conflict is a
natural reaction to any issue, but fleeing from it
doesn't always help. Speak what's on your mind in a
civil manner, even if you're opponent is not being as
lady-like. Tell them why you believe you are correct,
justify that statement, and give them an opportunity
to speak openly. If you discover you are correct and
they lay down walk away empowered, but be
gracious about your victory. If you discover you were
wrong in your beliefs politely explain what you were
wrong about, apologize if necessary, and walk away
guilt free. (Over apologizing can be painful, so be
calm and remain strong.) If you come to a dead tie
that remains unresolved: drop it. If it's brought back
up, handle it. But don't go searching for an issue.
7. Admit your flaws. Be open and content with
things you are not good at, laugh about photos of
yourself you find unflattering, and smile about
positions you did not achieve/ contests you did not
win etc. Be content not being perfect. Women who
try to be exempt from flaws crumble faster than
those with too many to count.
8. Be happy having enemies.
From a young age everyone must learn that some
people just won't like you. Once you know you are
disliked by someone (whether it was provoked or
not) understand that and know they aren't worth
your time. Don't force a friendship to happen, it will
do more harm than good.
9. Handle insults and compliments with grace.
Take every comment made about you as lightly as
possible. Appreciate flattering statements with a
simple un-exaggerated "thank you" and ignore not so
flattering comments.
Find that part of you that makes you a special female
specifically. Do you have pretty eyes? A lyrical voice?
Flowing hair? Find something that you can look at
your feminine side and say now that is something
woman about me. It doesn't have to be an
appearance characteristic, but definitely something
men just can't pull off like you do.
2. Find a strong woman you believe in.
Emulate her. Look to Audrey Hepburn, Mother Teresa,
Hillary Clinton, your mother, your best friend's big
sister, anyone! Find a woman you appreciate. Next
time you need to be strong think to yourself, "What
would (insert name) do?"
3. Cut out all the drama.
It can be hard but confident strong women don't
appreciate gossip and over the top emotional
situations. You can be a tender, emotional, easily
moved woman. That does not mean you need to talk
about other people's business. When gossip comes
up in conversation think classy and don't contribute.
4. Start talking to people and be proud of what
you have to say.
Confidence is key. It can be very difficult when you
are a reserved woman, but speaking up changes
everything. Make conversation with strangers (in an
appropriate, non-threatening manner) and stay
involved in current events and newsworthy topics to
help make wise up-to-date chit chat. When speaking
to those you already know speak more than you
usually do, but give people a chance to speak about
themselves as well. (No one likes to do anything
more than talk about themselves and taking that
away is dangerous.) Remember to be proud, patient,
pensive when speaking. You don't want to come off
as cheeky or boastful so thoroughly thinking through
your statements can be helpful.
5. Kiss the past goodbye.
If you're doing an internal make over than wiping
your past clean can be a great mental break. Take a
step back and think to yourself, "I woke up this
morning a powerful female. I'm staying that way no
matter what comes my way, and anything I did
yesterday can just melt away. I'm not doing that
again." And if your past ever does come back to bite
you, supply an apology from a place of both humility
and strength. If you feel the need to let these people
know you're moving on tell them so. They may not
agree and the band-aid formed may not hold, but you
will be happier internally if you stay strong, don't
lash out, and keep your cool.
6. Keep your convictions.
Don't run from fights. Wanting to avoid conflict is a
natural reaction to any issue, but fleeing from it
doesn't always help. Speak what's on your mind in a
civil manner, even if you're opponent is not being as
lady-like. Tell them why you believe you are correct,
justify that statement, and give them an opportunity
to speak openly. If you discover you are correct and
they lay down walk away empowered, but be
gracious about your victory. If you discover you were
wrong in your beliefs politely explain what you were
wrong about, apologize if necessary, and walk away
guilt free. (Over apologizing can be painful, so be
calm and remain strong.) If you come to a dead tie
that remains unresolved: drop it. If it's brought back
up, handle it. But don't go searching for an issue.
7. Admit your flaws. Be open and content with
things you are not good at, laugh about photos of
yourself you find unflattering, and smile about
positions you did not achieve/ contests you did not
win etc. Be content not being perfect. Women who
try to be exempt from flaws crumble faster than
those with too many to count.
8. Be happy having enemies.
From a young age everyone must learn that some
people just won't like you. Once you know you are
disliked by someone (whether it was provoked or
not) understand that and know they aren't worth
your time. Don't force a friendship to happen, it will
do more harm than good.
9. Handle insults and compliments with grace.
Take every comment made about you as lightly as
possible. Appreciate flattering statements with a
simple un-exaggerated "thank you" and ignore not so
flattering comments.
Great Questions you need to ask your partner before Marriage
1. Will you have kids and, if so, how will you
raise them?
Assuming that you both want to be parents
someday, how many do you want to have and how
will you raise them as co-parents? Will they be raised
under one religion? How do you expect to discipline
them? What are your expectations about taking them
on vacations? What are the expectations about who
will be the primary caretaker? If one of you goes on
parental leave, will that person be expected to
eventually go back to work?
2. How will you manage your finances?
What individual assets and debts will you bring to
the marriage? Who will pay the bills? What will be
considered a "big ticket" item and how much money
can spend on a purchase before you should consult
your spouse? How will you save? What are your
financial goals and how will you reach them
together? Will there be joint bank account or
separate bank accounts? Will you each have an
allowance of spending money and how much?
3. How will you spend free time?
How do you expect to spend it -- together or
individually? Will you still have time with friends that
doesn't include each other? How often would you like
to vacation and what kind of destinations would you
like to visit? How will you let each other know if you
feel like you need space?
4. Do you have expectations about sex?
How often will you made love? When is a good time?
How will you keep your sex life from getting boring?
How will you share sexual fantasies and desires? Do
you have any boundaries when it comes to intimacy?
5. How will you divvy up chores?
Who will do what in the home? If your spouse cooks
dinner, are you expected to clean the dishes, pots
and pans? Who will keep up with the maintenance
around the house? Who will mow the lawn or take out
the trash? Will the children lend a hand in the chores
and will they be given an allowance? How will you
divvy up the everyday load?
6. What can you do to openly communicate?
How can you make sure that you keep your
communication as good as it is now? How will you
make sure to handle your conflicts appropriately?
Will you check in with each other at the end of the
day or once a week? What can you do as an
individual to make sure that you keep the health of
your marriage a priority?
7. Do you have any annoyances?
What annoys you? What annoys your spouse-to-be?
How will you let each other know when certain habits
or behaviors bother you? How is it best to tell the
other person about things regarding family that are
upsetting?
Paraphrasing a famous commercial from years ago:
the more educated you are, the better off you will be.
So, have yourselves an intelligent and informative
conversation so that when the big day arrives, you'll
have a ball!
raise them?
Assuming that you both want to be parents
someday, how many do you want to have and how
will you raise them as co-parents? Will they be raised
under one religion? How do you expect to discipline
them? What are your expectations about taking them
on vacations? What are the expectations about who
will be the primary caretaker? If one of you goes on
parental leave, will that person be expected to
eventually go back to work?
2. How will you manage your finances?
What individual assets and debts will you bring to
the marriage? Who will pay the bills? What will be
considered a "big ticket" item and how much money
can spend on a purchase before you should consult
your spouse? How will you save? What are your
financial goals and how will you reach them
together? Will there be joint bank account or
separate bank accounts? Will you each have an
allowance of spending money and how much?
3. How will you spend free time?
How do you expect to spend it -- together or
individually? Will you still have time with friends that
doesn't include each other? How often would you like
to vacation and what kind of destinations would you
like to visit? How will you let each other know if you
feel like you need space?
4. Do you have expectations about sex?
How often will you made love? When is a good time?
How will you keep your sex life from getting boring?
How will you share sexual fantasies and desires? Do
you have any boundaries when it comes to intimacy?
5. How will you divvy up chores?
Who will do what in the home? If your spouse cooks
dinner, are you expected to clean the dishes, pots
and pans? Who will keep up with the maintenance
around the house? Who will mow the lawn or take out
the trash? Will the children lend a hand in the chores
and will they be given an allowance? How will you
divvy up the everyday load?
6. What can you do to openly communicate?
How can you make sure that you keep your
communication as good as it is now? How will you
make sure to handle your conflicts appropriately?
Will you check in with each other at the end of the
day or once a week? What can you do as an
individual to make sure that you keep the health of
your marriage a priority?
7. Do you have any annoyances?
What annoys you? What annoys your spouse-to-be?
How will you let each other know when certain habits
or behaviors bother you? How is it best to tell the
other person about things regarding family that are
upsetting?
Paraphrasing a famous commercial from years ago:
the more educated you are, the better off you will be.
So, have yourselves an intelligent and informative
conversation so that when the big day arrives, you'll
have a ball!
7 Romantic ways in which a woman can arouse her man
Has your sexual regime reached a dead end? Feeling
bored? Follow this seven step sexual guide and feel
your lost libido recharged ...
1. Change your sexual routine
Analyse your sexual regimen. Is it highly predictable?
Is it more of a race to reach an orgasm? If so then
perhaps you are in the midst of a sexual rut. So, get
up and try breaking the sexual norm by doing the
opposite of what you normally do. If you're having
sex in darkness, try it in the morning or in the
afternoon. If you're always getting down and dirty in
the bedroom, enjoy a quickie on the kitchen counter
or under the shower. If your man is always on top,
surprise him by taking charge. Change your sexual
POA to inject freshness into your sex life.
2. Show him the Donk
It's not always a great idea to sashay around the
house in sexy lingerie and killer heels if you want an
instant arousal in your man. Why don't you surprise
him by doing the dusting totally unclad wearing a
sexy G-string or indulge in some sexy shopping
together. Men are turned on by what they see - so
show him.
3. Make enough time
While sex is supposed to be spontaneous, unbridled
passion, the pressure of jobs, children, and managing
domestic chores leaves us with no time for sex. Try to
give him hints that you are looking forward to a
romp. Send suggestive and naughty texts and emails
throughout the day. Spontaneity is a great mood
builder and the anticipation and build up of
something planned can be lots of fun.
4. Look back...
Remember the early days when you were in the first
throes of lust when it was hard to keep your hands of
each other? Most couples remember their initial
years with affectionate nostalgia, so try and recreate
those memories. Plan a nice dinner, reminisce about
the first time you saw each other, what attracted you
initially, and your first date. Recall the sexual
connection, the pet names, personal jokes. Put on
some sensuous music and dance around your living
room to the song you first danced to. Recreate the
thrill of having sex by doing it somewhere you might
get caught! You share a rich history, so indulge in it a
little - those that do are the couples that stay
connected.
5. It's good to talk
Never sleep with anger within you. The unwritten
rule of a great relationship is to really talk. Be open
and honest. Talk about things you don't like in each
other, irritating habbits. But remember to discuss the
positive traits too - communicate what's important in
your relationship; simply talking about why you love
each other can help keep the passion alive.
6. Retain the mystery
A little bit of mystery adds spark to your love life.
Sometimes when you are living with each other for
years, you get too comfortable with each other and
tend to be yourself with your partner. So keep the
mystery alive and add some spice to your
relationship.
7. Indulge your senses
Turn your bedroom into an erotic boudoir by adding
loads of silk, satin sheets and colours that make you
feel sexy. Cook aphrodisiacal meals together with
naughty ingredients that really s-excite the taste
buds, or share a candlelit bath with fragrant bubbles
and scented oils. Make the time to indulge your
senses and you'll soon your libido replenished.
bored? Follow this seven step sexual guide and feel
your lost libido recharged ...
1. Change your sexual routine
Analyse your sexual regimen. Is it highly predictable?
Is it more of a race to reach an orgasm? If so then
perhaps you are in the midst of a sexual rut. So, get
up and try breaking the sexual norm by doing the
opposite of what you normally do. If you're having
sex in darkness, try it in the morning or in the
afternoon. If you're always getting down and dirty in
the bedroom, enjoy a quickie on the kitchen counter
or under the shower. If your man is always on top,
surprise him by taking charge. Change your sexual
POA to inject freshness into your sex life.
2. Show him the Donk
It's not always a great idea to sashay around the
house in sexy lingerie and killer heels if you want an
instant arousal in your man. Why don't you surprise
him by doing the dusting totally unclad wearing a
sexy G-string or indulge in some sexy shopping
together. Men are turned on by what they see - so
show him.
3. Make enough time
While sex is supposed to be spontaneous, unbridled
passion, the pressure of jobs, children, and managing
domestic chores leaves us with no time for sex. Try to
give him hints that you are looking forward to a
romp. Send suggestive and naughty texts and emails
throughout the day. Spontaneity is a great mood
builder and the anticipation and build up of
something planned can be lots of fun.
4. Look back...
Remember the early days when you were in the first
throes of lust when it was hard to keep your hands of
each other? Most couples remember their initial
years with affectionate nostalgia, so try and recreate
those memories. Plan a nice dinner, reminisce about
the first time you saw each other, what attracted you
initially, and your first date. Recall the sexual
connection, the pet names, personal jokes. Put on
some sensuous music and dance around your living
room to the song you first danced to. Recreate the
thrill of having sex by doing it somewhere you might
get caught! You share a rich history, so indulge in it a
little - those that do are the couples that stay
connected.
5. It's good to talk
Never sleep with anger within you. The unwritten
rule of a great relationship is to really talk. Be open
and honest. Talk about things you don't like in each
other, irritating habbits. But remember to discuss the
positive traits too - communicate what's important in
your relationship; simply talking about why you love
each other can help keep the passion alive.
6. Retain the mystery
A little bit of mystery adds spark to your love life.
Sometimes when you are living with each other for
years, you get too comfortable with each other and
tend to be yourself with your partner. So keep the
mystery alive and add some spice to your
relationship.
7. Indulge your senses
Turn your bedroom into an erotic boudoir by adding
loads of silk, satin sheets and colours that make you
feel sexy. Cook aphrodisiacal meals together with
naughty ingredients that really s-excite the taste
buds, or share a candlelit bath with fragrant bubbles
and scented oils. Make the time to indulge your
senses and you'll soon your libido replenished.
Different types of juice and fruits that can increase your performance in bed
You already know that juice has a ton of health
benefits—it can help you detox, strengthen your
immune system, treat stomach issues, and
strengthen your bones. But did you know it can
also enhance your s*x life in a major way?
Nutrition specialist Drew Canole is all about juicing
for its between-the-sheets benefits. So much so
that he's created two recipes—one for women and
one for men—made up of a unique blend of
vitamins and hormones that'll keep things steamy
from start to finish. Go get the following veggies
first:
Carrots: Carrots are high in vitamin A, which
stimulates the epithelial tissue throughout the
entire body—and yeah, we mean everywhere. Of
course you understand, don't you?
Celery Stalks: They contain androsterone, a
hormone that stimulates the s*x drive.
Celery
Cucumber: Extra hydration gives a boost in
stamina and endurance—and no one's ever
complained about having too much stamina and
endurance.
Kale Leaves: Tasty and high in zinc, often called
"the ultimate s*x mineral" for its libido-boosting
superpowers.
Knuckle of Ginger: You know what they say…a
knuckle of ginger a day reduces free radicals in
your blood, improving blood flow to all your happy
places. Oh, is that not how the saying goes?
Garlic Clove: It may not do much for your breath,
but garlic increases nitric oxide production, which
is primarily responsible for health erections. So,
extra garlic for dinner it is! What do you think?
Lemon: Too much acidity in the body can lead to
health issues, but lemon balances that out,
alkalizing the body for higher performance.
Knuckle of Turmeric: This superfood contains
compounds that decrease inflammation and
maximize blood flow, increasing s*xual desire and
performance.
Got it? Get blending. You can drink these mixes
straight, or stir them up with protein powder and
ice for a filling breakfast. Just try not to be late for
work because you're too busy getting busy thanks
to these recipes:
For Her:
4 Carrots
2 Celery Stalks
½ Cucumber
3 Kale Leaves
1 Knuckle of Ginger
For Him:
1 Cucumber
3 Stalks of Celery
1 Garlic Clove
1 Lemon
1 Knuckle of Turmeric
Happy juicing!
With Love from Diana Vilibert
benefits—it can help you detox, strengthen your
immune system, treat stomach issues, and
strengthen your bones. But did you know it can
also enhance your s*x life in a major way?
Nutrition specialist Drew Canole is all about juicing
for its between-the-sheets benefits. So much so
that he's created two recipes—one for women and
one for men—made up of a unique blend of
vitamins and hormones that'll keep things steamy
from start to finish. Go get the following veggies
first:
Carrots: Carrots are high in vitamin A, which
stimulates the epithelial tissue throughout the
entire body—and yeah, we mean everywhere. Of
course you understand, don't you?
Celery Stalks: They contain androsterone, a
hormone that stimulates the s*x drive.
Celery
Cucumber: Extra hydration gives a boost in
stamina and endurance—and no one's ever
complained about having too much stamina and
endurance.
Kale Leaves: Tasty and high in zinc, often called
"the ultimate s*x mineral" for its libido-boosting
superpowers.
Knuckle of Ginger: You know what they say…a
knuckle of ginger a day reduces free radicals in
your blood, improving blood flow to all your happy
places. Oh, is that not how the saying goes?
Garlic Clove: It may not do much for your breath,
but garlic increases nitric oxide production, which
is primarily responsible for health erections. So,
extra garlic for dinner it is! What do you think?
Lemon: Too much acidity in the body can lead to
health issues, but lemon balances that out,
alkalizing the body for higher performance.
Knuckle of Turmeric: This superfood contains
compounds that decrease inflammation and
maximize blood flow, increasing s*xual desire and
performance.
Got it? Get blending. You can drink these mixes
straight, or stir them up with protein powder and
ice for a filling breakfast. Just try not to be late for
work because you're too busy getting busy thanks
to these recipes:
For Her:
4 Carrots
2 Celery Stalks
½ Cucumber
3 Kale Leaves
1 Knuckle of Ginger
For Him:
1 Cucumber
3 Stalks of Celery
1 Garlic Clove
1 Lemon
1 Knuckle of Turmeric
Happy juicing!
With Love from Diana Vilibert
Tips on how to save your relationship or marriage
If you feel that sinking feeling coming on that
means your relationship is on the rocks, now
may be a good time to re-examine your
relationship with your loved one. There are
several steps you can take to put you and your
partner back on the road to recovery.
Decide if it is worth it. It is a depressing fact about
life, but some relationships may happen to be too far
gone to save. Therefore, take some time to really
think about the relationship. Find out the real cause
of the conflict or breakup. Is it your fault or your
partner's fault? If you are in an abusive relationship,
physically or emotionally, it may be best to leave and
find a fresh start. If not, you must be willing to take
on the following steps with a passion. If at the end of
the day you still think that the relationship is worth
saving, then go all out to save it.
Pinpoint the problem. It is hard to fix a
relationship when you do not know what went wrong.
Talk to your partner to see if they are willing to try a
problem-solving method known as "Plus Delta". If he
or she is willing, take some quiet time out of your day
where you two can do the following:
Each person needs a piece of paper folded length-
wise into thirds.
Label the first column "plus", the second column
"minus", and the third column "delta".
In the plus column, each of you must write several
things that you personally find to be good in your
relationship.
Ex. "our walks in the park" or "the way we wake each
other up when we have a bad dream"
In the minus column, individually write what you
each think are some negative aspects of your
relationship.
Ex. "how we resort to screaming when angry" or "our
lack of communication during arguments".
Delta is a term used in math and science that means
"change in". You should use this column to identify
specific changes that you wish to make in your
relationship. This can mean doing less of one thing or
doing more of another thing. Ex. "more cuddle time
while watching T.V."or "planning special dinner
dates" or "more daily communication".
Share your thoughts. It is important that these
thoughts are not shared in an angry or
argumentative way. You should hold each other's
hand while sharing your thoughts or cuddle up
together. It may feel awkward to do this if you have
been fighting a lot lately, but it can make a
difference.
Listen. When your partner is talking, do not
interrupt them to "counter" what they said or to
defend yourself. Keep in mind that if they wrote
something down under the minus column, it is
because it is truly hurting or worrying them. Whether
their feelings seem rational or not, it is important to
respect them.
Take action. Try to identify some of the most
important problems on each other's list and find a
way to fix the situation. For example, if
communication was a big problem, make it a point to
talk to each other for twenty minutes each day
without the T.V., radio, or computer on.
Maintain your progress. Be sure to apologize for
hurting each other's feelings and repeat the process
as often as needed
Try different moves with that person.
means your relationship is on the rocks, now
may be a good time to re-examine your
relationship with your loved one. There are
several steps you can take to put you and your
partner back on the road to recovery.
Decide if it is worth it. It is a depressing fact about
life, but some relationships may happen to be too far
gone to save. Therefore, take some time to really
think about the relationship. Find out the real cause
of the conflict or breakup. Is it your fault or your
partner's fault? If you are in an abusive relationship,
physically or emotionally, it may be best to leave and
find a fresh start. If not, you must be willing to take
on the following steps with a passion. If at the end of
the day you still think that the relationship is worth
saving, then go all out to save it.
Pinpoint the problem. It is hard to fix a
relationship when you do not know what went wrong.
Talk to your partner to see if they are willing to try a
problem-solving method known as "Plus Delta". If he
or she is willing, take some quiet time out of your day
where you two can do the following:
Each person needs a piece of paper folded length-
wise into thirds.
Label the first column "plus", the second column
"minus", and the third column "delta".
In the plus column, each of you must write several
things that you personally find to be good in your
relationship.
Ex. "our walks in the park" or "the way we wake each
other up when we have a bad dream"
In the minus column, individually write what you
each think are some negative aspects of your
relationship.
Ex. "how we resort to screaming when angry" or "our
lack of communication during arguments".
Delta is a term used in math and science that means
"change in". You should use this column to identify
specific changes that you wish to make in your
relationship. This can mean doing less of one thing or
doing more of another thing. Ex. "more cuddle time
while watching T.V."or "planning special dinner
dates" or "more daily communication".
Share your thoughts. It is important that these
thoughts are not shared in an angry or
argumentative way. You should hold each other's
hand while sharing your thoughts or cuddle up
together. It may feel awkward to do this if you have
been fighting a lot lately, but it can make a
difference.
Listen. When your partner is talking, do not
interrupt them to "counter" what they said or to
defend yourself. Keep in mind that if they wrote
something down under the minus column, it is
because it is truly hurting or worrying them. Whether
their feelings seem rational or not, it is important to
respect them.
Take action. Try to identify some of the most
important problems on each other's list and find a
way to fix the situation. For example, if
communication was a big problem, make it a point to
talk to each other for twenty minutes each day
without the T.V., radio, or computer on.
Maintain your progress. Be sure to apologize for
hurting each other's feelings and repeat the process
as often as needed
Try different moves with that person.
7 ways to catch your cheating boyfriend/hubby
Want to know how to catch a cheating
boyfriend? I will give you seven clues that will
help you do this. So how do you know when
someone is cheating on you? Some may call it
a gut feeling, but there is usually something
more tangible than that. Something you may
have noticed the other day, but forgot about
later on.
To accuse your boyfriend or husband of
infidelity, you better be sure of you facts. You
need evidence to confront them with and not
just a gut feeling. Remember it would be a
shame to ruin a relationship because of gut
feelings and suspicion.
How to catch a cheating boyfriend! Here's
how.
1. A guilty conscience is a heavy weight to
carry around for anyone, and those that do
usually pay with sleepless nights. Maybe you
have noticed? Just one other thing, the urge to
admit there infidelity is almost as heavy as the
weight it's self.
2. Some people are not greatly bothered by
there own appearance, so if they all of a
sudden find a need to spruce themselves up
for no particular reason that you can see, then
this could be a clue that something is not
right.
3. How to catch a cheating boyfriend may well
depend on you putting two and two together
and realizing that those recent arguments
were all caused by him. But why? And the
arguments always resulted in him going out.
Strange?
4. You know when your boyfriend is lying, but
only recently has it become an everyday
event. Never the less, it is upsetting for you to
realize this. But why is he lying all the time.
The one true thing about a liar, you have to
have a good memory, sooner or later the lies
will catch you out.
5. How to catch your boyfriend cheating, is by
keeping an eye on the time he spends on line,
and most particularly the email activity. This
really is classic signs of a cheater.
6. Your circle of friends will give you subtle
clues, if anything is going on. By that i mean,
very little eye contact will be given to you.
Conversations will be forced and unnatural.
You see your friends could be caught in the
middle of whatever is going on.
7. Now cell phone conversations or the secrecy
of them, is a big give away. Notice how he
whispers when he is on his cell phone? He was
never that quite before. And most of the time
he leaves the room any way.
Hopefully none of these clues mean a jot to
you, and that gut feeling was just an upset
stomach.
Made it Bold for all the singles, Lovers and
Married People to see very well ....You are all
welcome bcos i know there will be ''Thank you
sooo much for this'' especially from the Ladies
boyfriend? I will give you seven clues that will
help you do this. So how do you know when
someone is cheating on you? Some may call it
a gut feeling, but there is usually something
more tangible than that. Something you may
have noticed the other day, but forgot about
later on.
To accuse your boyfriend or husband of
infidelity, you better be sure of you facts. You
need evidence to confront them with and not
just a gut feeling. Remember it would be a
shame to ruin a relationship because of gut
feelings and suspicion.
How to catch a cheating boyfriend! Here's
how.
1. A guilty conscience is a heavy weight to
carry around for anyone, and those that do
usually pay with sleepless nights. Maybe you
have noticed? Just one other thing, the urge to
admit there infidelity is almost as heavy as the
weight it's self.
2. Some people are not greatly bothered by
there own appearance, so if they all of a
sudden find a need to spruce themselves up
for no particular reason that you can see, then
this could be a clue that something is not
right.
3. How to catch a cheating boyfriend may well
depend on you putting two and two together
and realizing that those recent arguments
were all caused by him. But why? And the
arguments always resulted in him going out.
Strange?
4. You know when your boyfriend is lying, but
only recently has it become an everyday
event. Never the less, it is upsetting for you to
realize this. But why is he lying all the time.
The one true thing about a liar, you have to
have a good memory, sooner or later the lies
will catch you out.
5. How to catch your boyfriend cheating, is by
keeping an eye on the time he spends on line,
and most particularly the email activity. This
really is classic signs of a cheater.
6. Your circle of friends will give you subtle
clues, if anything is going on. By that i mean,
very little eye contact will be given to you.
Conversations will be forced and unnatural.
You see your friends could be caught in the
middle of whatever is going on.
7. Now cell phone conversations or the secrecy
of them, is a big give away. Notice how he
whispers when he is on his cell phone? He was
never that quite before. And most of the time
he leaves the room any way.
Hopefully none of these clues mean a jot to
you, and that gut feeling was just an upset
stomach.
Made it Bold for all the singles, Lovers and
Married People to see very well ....You are all
welcome bcos i know there will be ''Thank you
sooo much for this'' especially from the Ladies
Tuesday, May 21, 2013
How to know if you are in a parasitic relationship and the remedy
A parasitic relationship is a relationship in
which one partner (the parasite) is helped, at
the expense of another partner (the host)
being hurt. [1] A parasitic relationship must be
distinguished from the other two forms of
symbiotic relationship[2]: mutualistic,[3]
where both partners benefit, and commensal,
[4] where one partner benefits, but the other
partner is unaffected. A parasitic relationship
is a harmful relationship for the host.
Therefore, it is important to identify it early
on, so further damage can be forestalled.
In a healthy relationship, one should seek to
give more and receive less, loving one another
as oneself. It should be mutually loving, caring,
respecting, and well-balanced. A parasitic
relationship is an imbalance that must be
identified and corrected promptly.
Steps
Identify the relationship. In order to know
whether you are in a parasitic relationship, you must
first identify the relationship. Identify the person or
living thing with whom you have a relationship.
Determine what benefits, if any, you have
derived from this relationship. For example:
Are you receiving love?
Are you getting/saving more money?
Are you living more healthily physically?
Are you finding food more easily?
Are you finding shelter more easily?
Are you able to go shopping more easily?
Are you able to perform daily routines more
effectively?
Is your life more meaningful as a result of the
relationship?
Determine what harms, if any, you have
derived from this relationship. For example:
Are you hurting emotionally?
Are you losing money?
Are you living more unhealthily physically?
Are you finding food more difficult to obtain?
Are you finding shelter more difficult to secure?
Are you having more difficulty shopping?
Are you finding your daily routines more difficult to
perform?
Is your life less meaningful as a result of the
relationship?
N.B.: this list is only an example, and may not apply
to you. You must make your own list of things that
are important to you.
Compare the two lists (benefits and harms you
obtained from the relationship) to see whether
overall you are benefiting or being harmed
from the relationship. For example, you can do
this systematically as follows:
Assign a weight of how important each item is to
you. For example, you can use a scale of 0-5, where 0
is not at all important, and 5 is extremely important.
Assign a score to each item, rating the extent to
which you have been affected. For example, you can
use a score of 1-10, where 1 is minimally affected,
and 10 is maximally affected.
Multiply the score you assign to each item by the
weight you assigned for that item. For example,
suppose shelter is more difficult for you as a result of
the relationship, shelter should be an item on your
list of harms. If shelter is very important to you, but
not the most important, you could assign it a weight
of 4. And if, because of the relationship, you are
experiencing moderate difficulty with affording
shelter, you could give it a score of 5, so multiply to
get a score of 20 for that item.
Do this for each item on the list of benefits, then add
up all the results. Do the same for the list of harms.
Now compare the two composite scores, to see which
score is bigger. If the list of benefits has a bigger
score than the list of harms, you are benefiting from
the relationship overall. If the list of harms has a
bigger score than the list of benefits, you are being
harmed by relationship overall.
Create a list of benefits and a list of harms
derived from the relationship by your partner.
This is a more difficult step, as you may not be fully
aware of all the benefits and harms derived by your
partner, and the extent to which each benefit or
harm is important. Just try your best to make up the
lists, knowing that they are estimations at best.
Do the same analysis you did for yourself to
see whether, overall, your partner is
benefiting, or is being harmed, by the
relationship.
Interpret the results, as follows:
If you are benefiting and your partner is benefiting,
you are not in a parasitic relationship (you are in a
mutualistic relationship).
If you are benefiting and your partner is being
harmed, you are in a parasitic relationship (you are
the parasite and your partner is the host).
If you are being harmed and your partner is
benefiting, you are in a parasitic relationship (your
partner is the parasite and you are the host).
If you are being harmed and your partner is being
harmed, you are not in a parasitic relationship (you
are in a mutually destructive, or abusive,
relationship).
Have a genuine, heart-to-heart conversation
with your partner. One of the most common
causes of conflicts in relationships is
misunderstanding. Perhaps you have misinterpreted
the facts. Perhaps some things have eluded your
thinking about the relationship. Perhaps your partner
is well-intentioned, but made mistakes unaware.
If you are in a parasitic relationship, take
action to correct this.
After talking with your partner, resolve any
misunderstanding, forgive, and discuss ways you can
both improve the relationship, so that neither partner
is harmed anymore.
Seek counseling and support from others if needed.
If the relationship cannot be repaired, look for a way
out respectfully and peacefully.
Sources and Citations
1 ↑ http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Parasitism
which one partner (the parasite) is helped, at
the expense of another partner (the host)
being hurt. [1] A parasitic relationship must be
distinguished from the other two forms of
symbiotic relationship[2]: mutualistic,[3]
where both partners benefit, and commensal,
[4] where one partner benefits, but the other
partner is unaffected. A parasitic relationship
is a harmful relationship for the host.
Therefore, it is important to identify it early
on, so further damage can be forestalled.
In a healthy relationship, one should seek to
give more and receive less, loving one another
as oneself. It should be mutually loving, caring,
respecting, and well-balanced. A parasitic
relationship is an imbalance that must be
identified and corrected promptly.
Steps
Identify the relationship. In order to know
whether you are in a parasitic relationship, you must
first identify the relationship. Identify the person or
living thing with whom you have a relationship.
Determine what benefits, if any, you have
derived from this relationship. For example:
Are you receiving love?
Are you getting/saving more money?
Are you living more healthily physically?
Are you finding food more easily?
Are you finding shelter more easily?
Are you able to go shopping more easily?
Are you able to perform daily routines more
effectively?
Is your life more meaningful as a result of the
relationship?
Determine what harms, if any, you have
derived from this relationship. For example:
Are you hurting emotionally?
Are you losing money?
Are you living more unhealthily physically?
Are you finding food more difficult to obtain?
Are you finding shelter more difficult to secure?
Are you having more difficulty shopping?
Are you finding your daily routines more difficult to
perform?
Is your life less meaningful as a result of the
relationship?
N.B.: this list is only an example, and may not apply
to you. You must make your own list of things that
are important to you.
Compare the two lists (benefits and harms you
obtained from the relationship) to see whether
overall you are benefiting or being harmed
from the relationship. For example, you can do
this systematically as follows:
Assign a weight of how important each item is to
you. For example, you can use a scale of 0-5, where 0
is not at all important, and 5 is extremely important.
Assign a score to each item, rating the extent to
which you have been affected. For example, you can
use a score of 1-10, where 1 is minimally affected,
and 10 is maximally affected.
Multiply the score you assign to each item by the
weight you assigned for that item. For example,
suppose shelter is more difficult for you as a result of
the relationship, shelter should be an item on your
list of harms. If shelter is very important to you, but
not the most important, you could assign it a weight
of 4. And if, because of the relationship, you are
experiencing moderate difficulty with affording
shelter, you could give it a score of 5, so multiply to
get a score of 20 for that item.
Do this for each item on the list of benefits, then add
up all the results. Do the same for the list of harms.
Now compare the two composite scores, to see which
score is bigger. If the list of benefits has a bigger
score than the list of harms, you are benefiting from
the relationship overall. If the list of harms has a
bigger score than the list of benefits, you are being
harmed by relationship overall.
Create a list of benefits and a list of harms
derived from the relationship by your partner.
This is a more difficult step, as you may not be fully
aware of all the benefits and harms derived by your
partner, and the extent to which each benefit or
harm is important. Just try your best to make up the
lists, knowing that they are estimations at best.
Do the same analysis you did for yourself to
see whether, overall, your partner is
benefiting, or is being harmed, by the
relationship.
Interpret the results, as follows:
If you are benefiting and your partner is benefiting,
you are not in a parasitic relationship (you are in a
mutualistic relationship).
If you are benefiting and your partner is being
harmed, you are in a parasitic relationship (you are
the parasite and your partner is the host).
If you are being harmed and your partner is
benefiting, you are in a parasitic relationship (your
partner is the parasite and you are the host).
If you are being harmed and your partner is being
harmed, you are not in a parasitic relationship (you
are in a mutually destructive, or abusive,
relationship).
Have a genuine, heart-to-heart conversation
with your partner. One of the most common
causes of conflicts in relationships is
misunderstanding. Perhaps you have misinterpreted
the facts. Perhaps some things have eluded your
thinking about the relationship. Perhaps your partner
is well-intentioned, but made mistakes unaware.
If you are in a parasitic relationship, take
action to correct this.
After talking with your partner, resolve any
misunderstanding, forgive, and discuss ways you can
both improve the relationship, so that neither partner
is harmed anymore.
Seek counseling and support from others if needed.
If the relationship cannot be repaired, look for a way
out respectfully and peacefully.
Sources and Citations
1 ↑ http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Parasitism
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)