7 ways to catch your cheating boyfriend/hubby

Want to know how to catch a cheating
boyfriend? I will give you seven clues that will
help you do this. So how do you know when
someone is cheating on you? Some may call it
a gut feeling, but there is usually something
more tangible than that. Something you may
have noticed the other day, but forgot about
later on.
To accuse your boyfriend or husband of
infidelity, you better be sure of you facts. You
need evidence to confront them with and not
just a gut feeling. Remember it would be a
shame to ruin a relationship because of gut
feelings and suspicion.
How to catch a cheating boyfriend! Here's
how.
1. A guilty conscience is a heavy weight to
carry around for anyone, and those that do
usually pay with sleepless nights. Maybe you
have noticed? Just one other thing, the urge to
admit there infidelity is almost as heavy as the
weight it's self.
2. Some people are not greatly bothered by
there own appearance, so if they all of a
sudden find a need to spruce themselves up
for no particular reason that you can see, then
this could be a clue that something is not
right.
3. How to catch a cheating boyfriend may well
depend on you putting two and two together
and realizing that those recent arguments
were all caused by him. But why? And the
arguments always resulted in him going out.
Strange?
4. You know when your boyfriend is lying, but
only recently has it become an everyday
event. Never the less, it is upsetting for you to
realize this. But why is he lying all the time.
The one true thing about a liar, you have to
have a good memory, sooner or later the lies
will catch you out.
5. How to catch your boyfriend cheating, is by
keeping an eye on the time he spends on line,
and most particularly the email activity. This
really is classic signs of a cheater.
6. Your circle of friends will give you subtle
clues, if anything is going on. By that i mean,
very little eye contact will be given to you.
Conversations will be forced and unnatural.
You see your friends could be caught in the
middle of whatever is going on.
7. Now cell phone conversations or the secrecy
of them, is a big give away. Notice how he
whispers when he is on his cell phone? He was
never that quite before. And most of the time
he leaves the room any way.
Hopefully none of these clues mean a jot to
you, and that gut feeling was just an upset
stomach.
Made it Bold for all the singles, Lovers and
Married People to see very well ....You are all
welcome bcos i know there will be ''Thank you
sooo much for this'' especially from the Ladies

How to know if you are in a parasitic relationship and the remedy

A parasitic relationship is a relationship in
which one partner (the parasite) is helped, at
the expense of another partner (the host)
being hurt. [1] A parasitic relationship must be
distinguished from the other two forms of
symbiotic relationship[2]: mutualistic,[3]
where both partners benefit, and commensal,
[4] where one partner benefits, but the other
partner is unaffected. A parasitic relationship
is a harmful relationship for the host.
Therefore, it is important to identify it early
on, so further damage can be forestalled.
In a healthy relationship, one should seek to
give more and receive less, loving one another
as oneself. It should be mutually loving, caring,
respecting, and well-balanced. A parasitic
relationship is an imbalance that must be
identified and corrected promptly.
Steps
Identify the relationship. In order to know
whether you are in a parasitic relationship, you must
first identify the relationship. Identify the person or
living thing with whom you have a relationship.
Determine what benefits, if any, you have
derived from this relationship. For example:
Are you receiving love?
Are you getting/saving more money?
Are you living more healthily physically?
Are you finding food more easily?
Are you finding shelter more easily?
Are you able to go shopping more easily?
Are you able to perform daily routines more
effectively?
Is your life more meaningful as a result of the
relationship?
Determine what harms, if any, you have
derived from this relationship. For example:
Are you hurting emotionally?
Are you losing money?
Are you living more unhealthily physically?
Are you finding food more difficult to obtain?
Are you finding shelter more difficult to secure?
Are you having more difficulty shopping?
Are you finding your daily routines more difficult to
perform?
Is your life less meaningful as a result of the
relationship?
N.B.: this list is only an example, and may not apply
to you. You must make your own list of things that
are important to you.
Compare the two lists (benefits and harms you
obtained from the relationship) to see whether
overall you are benefiting or being harmed
from the relationship. For example, you can do
this systematically as follows:
Assign a weight of how important each item is to
you. For example, you can use a scale of 0-5, where 0
is not at all important, and 5 is extremely important.
Assign a score to each item, rating the extent to
which you have been affected. For example, you can
use a score of 1-10, where 1 is minimally affected,
and 10 is maximally affected.
Multiply the score you assign to each item by the
weight you assigned for that item. For example,
suppose shelter is more difficult for you as a result of
the relationship, shelter should be an item on your
list of harms. If shelter is very important to you, but
not the most important, you could assign it a weight
of 4. And if, because of the relationship, you are
experiencing moderate difficulty with affording
shelter, you could give it a score of 5, so multiply to
get a score of 20 for that item.
Do this for each item on the list of benefits, then add
up all the results. Do the same for the list of harms.
Now compare the two composite scores, to see which
score is bigger. If the list of benefits has a bigger
score than the list of harms, you are benefiting from
the relationship overall. If the list of harms has a
bigger score than the list of benefits, you are being
harmed by relationship overall.
Create a list of benefits and a list of harms
derived from the relationship by your partner.
This is a more difficult step, as you may not be fully
aware of all the benefits and harms derived by your
partner, and the extent to which each benefit or
harm is important. Just try your best to make up the
lists, knowing that they are estimations at best.
Do the same analysis you did for yourself to
see whether, overall, your partner is
benefiting, or is being harmed, by the
relationship.
Interpret the results, as follows:
If you are benefiting and your partner is benefiting,
you are not in a parasitic relationship (you are in a
mutualistic relationship).
If you are benefiting and your partner is being
harmed, you are in a parasitic relationship (you are
the parasite and your partner is the host).
If you are being harmed and your partner is
benefiting, you are in a parasitic relationship (your
partner is the parasite and you are the host).
If you are being harmed and your partner is being
harmed, you are not in a parasitic relationship (you
are in a mutually destructive, or abusive,
relationship).
Have a genuine, heart-to-heart conversation
with your partner. One of the most common
causes of conflicts in relationships is
misunderstanding. Perhaps you have misinterpreted
the facts. Perhaps some things have eluded your
thinking about the relationship. Perhaps your partner
is well-intentioned, but made mistakes unaware.
If you are in a parasitic relationship, take
action to correct this.
After talking with your partner, resolve any
misunderstanding, forgive, and discuss ways you can
both improve the relationship, so that neither partner
is harmed anymore.
Seek counseling and support from others if needed.
If the relationship cannot be repaired, look for a way
out respectfully and peacefully.
Sources and Citations
1 ↑ http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Parasitism

How my life was ruined because of a man i met through my blackberry smart phone

I became addicted to my blackberry and also my
social media applications, and since I had constant
access, I quickly gained enough followers, and
especially guys, mostly because I had a lot of erotic
pictures on my timeline, I was popular. Finally I felt I
was the main girl, everyone wanted to follow me...
My name is Lebogang , I am 26 years old, I never
graduated from the university, simply bcos I was
stupid and careless, on my 24th birthday, I received
a nice gift, it was a blackberry phone, I always
wanted one, it was like a right of passage, my ex-
boyfriend got it for me, he was a student like me,
didn't have a job, and I really never cared to ask as
he could afford it, my concern at that point was, yes I
had finally arrived.
Other girls in my hostel had blackberries and I would
always get pissed when I heard sounds of pings and
messages coming into their phones at all hours and I
would stare at my Nokia phone and wish I could
throw it away, but half bread they say is better than
none. I hoped and even fasted to get a blackberry
phone, but looking back now, if I had the opportunity,
I'd have a landline with no internet activity what so
ever.
Anyway I got the blackberry phone and even got free
BIS subscription, at that moment my life was
complete, no more going to the cyber cafes to check
my emails, my facebook or twitter, I had it all at my
finger tips, life indeed was complete, or so I thought.
I didn't care if it was virtual, it felt good, checking out
my profile and having well over 8,000 followers, more
than half of which were guys, but one particular guy
caught my attention, till this day I don't know what
made him stand out, but we got chatty, he sent me
direct messages and I replied, he was quiet a
gentleman , and I can't remember him ever asking
for a unclad picture unlike the rest of them, so this
made me comfortable with him, his name was Thato,
he said he was a doctor , I didn't have any cause to
doubt him, he had extensive knowledge and even
gave me some medical advice from time to time, we
eventually moved from twitter to BBM, we chatted all
the time, I got so comfortable with him, I gave him
my number, and that would come to be the biggest
mistake I ever made.
Thato called me every day, some days he called more
than once, at night he would call and I would lay on
my bed and have phone sex with him, his voice was
so soothing, he made me do things I never thought
possible, he had gained so much access into my
head, I realized later I had done some very sick and
twisted things just to please him, I would take unclad
pictures of myself, I would send him videos of me
touching myself in private, and send him voice notes
of me making moaning sounds and simulating
orgasms, and all this while we had not met, not face
to face at least, eventually I played into his hands, I
began pestering to meet him in person, at this point I
had lost my mind, I assumed I was in-love with him,
and when my boyfriend at the time broke up with
me, I really welcomed it, for me it meant no more
sneaking around.
Thato eventually agreed to come to Pretoria to meet
me, all this while he had made me to believe he was
in Cape Town, and would take time off work to spend
a weekend with me in Pretoria, when I heard this I
was excited, he told me to book a reservation for him,
stating he would pay me back as soon as he arrived
and also he said it would make him more committed
to the visit and would convince him of my
seriousness, I bought it all, he was smart, he was
cunning, and I was stupid, oh how stupid I was. The
funny thing was I had sent him tons of pictures, and
all I had was just one picture of him, and whenever I
asked he would claim he wanted to be sure I loved
him for him, and not for his looks, and sheepishly I
would try to convince him of my undying love, and
would try to appease him with unclad pictures of my
body.
He eventually made it to pretoria, I met him at the
hotel, he was tall, handsome and had a wonderful
smile, he made love to me over and over, and
convinced me to spend the night with him, I told him
I couldn't, because I had a test the next morning,
now at this point I don't know what triggered his
anger, don't know if it was because I couldn't spend
the night, or maybe I said something else I can't
remember saying, but whatever it was, brought out a
very ugly side of him. He called me foul names, and
kept going on and on about how he always knew I
was cheap, and he knew I was sleeping with other
men, the same man whom had swept me away,
slammed me on the floor, he told me of how he had
shown his friends all my unclad pictures and how
they had watched the videos and listened to the
voice notes, he told me he had made a bet with his
friends, that I would actually pay for him to made
love with me, just to prove how stupid I was. Well
you can imagine how I felt, I was confused and
shocked, but I attempted to regain any little dignity I
had left, and so I tried to mouth off at him, suddenly
he punched me in the face, and I tripped over, and
hit my head on a stool.
The next thing I remember was waking up on the
bed, I was tied up, and he was staring at me, his eyes
were dark and he had a sinister smile on his lips, he
stood up and walked towards me ,I tried to scream
and realized my mouth was tapped, my head was
racing, the unfortunate part was that no one knew
where I was, he turned me over, and told me he was
going to teach me a lesson, at this point I was unclad,
he rapped me from behind, and I mean my anus, the
pain was mind blowing, I struggled, and he hit me,
when he was done he brought out a small blade, and
he looked at me for a minute and said, this scar is
going to always serve as a reminder, for girls like you
always trying to be more than you are, for stupid
fools like you.
He put the blade to my bosom and cut it off, and
anytime I think of it, I still feel the pain, it was like
nothing I had ever felt before, he was calm, like he
had done it a million times, I could feel the warm
blood dripping down my mutilated chest, tears of
fear and pain running down my face, and suddenly
he turned around again, this time all I saw was a
flash. I don't know how I survived it, but I woke up in
a hospital days after, well I was awake, but my eyes
were swollen shut, It took a couple of days for me to
open my one good eye, and realize d damage he had
done, he had plucked out my eye, and cut my face,
he had cut my breasts up real bad, they had to cut it
out, like I had cancer or something, there was no
record of who I was, coz he had taken everything, he
had taken my bag, containing everything I had even
the blackberry. I was able to tell the nurses about
what I could remember, and also give them my
mum's phone number, the hospital felt so much pity,
they actually treated me for free.
Anyway I was taken home after weeks at the hospital
to recuperate, it was tough, I was blind in one eye, I
had one chest and a hideous scar of my face, talk
about your sinage, he did a number on me, how
dumb was I, sometimes I wish he had killed me, but
there are fates worse than death, and I guess this is
one of them, he was gone without a trace, the receipt
from the hotel was in my name, so yes he had played
me from the start. I didn't dare go back to school, I
was sure everyone would have heard, and I was not
going to become a statistic, so I decided to stay
home, and mind my business, besides what do I need
an education for, I'd rather stay home, because there
is no rising from this, there is no happy ending to this
story, this is the simple ending, I was a victim of a
sexual predator, and I let him into my life period.
I take full responsibility for that, I was driven by
greed and lack of morals, I allowed myself fall into an
abyss, but well saying all this doesn't change
anything, it's a memory I will have to live with for the
rest of my life, well not a memory, because I look at
myself in the mirror everyday, who would want to see
a unclad picture of a woman with one chest, one eye,
and a stub.
I have decided to publish my story, because with the
rise of social media atrocities being committed, every
story can go a long way in saving a life, so while you
read, SHARE and help someone back to the right
path, these internet predators are real

20 Dirty Questions that can make a girl to get wet

Want to seduce a girl with words? Use these 20 dirty
questions to ask a girl over text and you can make
her do all the sexy, dirty talking for you!
Girls play hard to get almost all the time
It's a good thing though, or you wouldn't really think
she's worth the effort.
But sometimes, it's easier to turn on a girl than date
her.
When it comes to dating a girl, she'd instinctively
know you're hitting on her.
If you discreetly warm her up to your flirty touches,
you'll see that seducing a girl can be rather easy if
she thinks you're a great guy.
If you know how to be discreet, you can make a girl
fall for you or even turn her on in just a few
conversations.
But here, we'll get to seducing a girl with just 20
simple questions, preferably via texts.
Dirty questions to ask a girl and make her wet
It's easy to ask these 20 questions when you're
sitting with her, but if she feels uncomfortable or
believes you're trying too hard or going too fast, you
may end up blowing your chances. And you'll have a
hard time making her like you again.
On the other hand, by texting a few sexy questions to
a girl, you can always make it seem like a joke if she
doesn't warm up to you.
It's easy, safe and a foolproof way to turn a girl on
from a distance.
Use these questions, and if you charm the girl the
right way, you could charm the pants off her and
make out with her by the time you reach the
twentieth question!
The right questions to ask a girl
Just use these questions and keep the conversation
going by answering any other questions she may
ask. It'll all work out in your favor if you play it
carefully and stick to these 20 questions all along the
way.
And the best part, it'll work wonders if she's your
girlfriend or even if she's a flirty girl you have a crush
on. Ask her these questions late at night for best
results!
#1 Are you alone? This question is perfect to
understand if she's idle and all alone at home. You
obviously can't flirt or talk sex if her friends are
around her. Say something bold like "I wish I could
be there with you" when she reciprocates with an
affirmative.
#2 What are you doing right now? Play it nice and
slow. This can help you be certain that she's alone
and bored enough to give you her complete
attention.
#3 Do you like cuddling when you lie in bed? Warm
her up to a flirty conversation without overstepping
the line. This can help open her up by talking about
cuddling with someone else.
#4 What do you wear when you go to bed? / What
are you wearing? A curious question that's perfect to
ask a girl when she's in bed already. It's personal,
and yet not too sexual. Say something like "Gosh, I
can only imagine how cute you look right now" when
she describes herself.
If it's your girlfriend, ask her what's she's wearing
and if she doesn't mention her lingerie *which she
may not without a bit of coaxing*, ask about her
lingerie and also the color. A perfect start.
#5 What do you think you look sexiest in? Get her to
talk sexual by talking about her sexy clothing. It's
flattering and definitely sexual.
#6 Have you ever watched someone else make out
accidentally or on purpose? This question gets both
of you in the mood. And yet, by directing it at a third
person, you can avoid any uncomfortable situation at
the start.
#7 Has a guy even touched you or discreetly groped
you while clubbing or in a crowded place? Girls have
a thing about sexual groping. Even if it's accidental,
it's something they just don't forget. You can answer
something like "I wish I could have been that guy!"
after she tells you about an incident she likes.
#8 Have you ever made out with a guy just because
you were horny at that time? Find out if she's a girl
who can be coaxed into having sex with a guy in the
heat of the moment.
#9 If you had a pair of x-ray glasses, which part of a
guy's body *below his shoulders* would you see
first? Time to get naughty. Really, how many things
can a girl take a look at below a guy's shoulders? Let
her answer the question so you always make it seem
like she's the one talking dirty and not you.
#10 Do you like boxers or briefs? This is a clichéd
question and even if a girl doesn't care about it,
she'd most probably say that she likes a boxer.
Answer this question by telling her what you're
wearing. The whole focus here is to get her to think of
your package without really making it obvious.
#11 What's your secret move to turn a guy on? By
asking her to visualize making out with a guy and
describe it to you, you're making her fantasize about
sex. And at the same time, she may go into details
just to prove how good she is sexually.
#12 If there's one place a guy should touch you to
make you horny, which is that? This goes straight to
sex and arousal. And if she does answer this
truthfully, in all probability, she's already aroused.
#13 Does a massage make you wet? A full body
massage makes almost all girls wet. You can always
tell her something like "Just so you know, I came first
in my masseuse class and I would love to give you a
massage. And don't worry, now that I know you get
horny while getting a massage, I'll linger in all the
right places."
#14 If I kissed your lips accidentally while kissing
goodbye, would you mind it? Make her imagine your
kiss. It's a perfect question to get her to pucker up.
#15 Do you like giving an oral or getting one? No
matter what she answers, you can always answer
with the opposite of what she says. If she likes giving
an oral, say you like getting it. If she likes getting it,
tell her you love giving it!
#16 How do you think my body would look better,
shaved or natural? Isn't it a nice thought to know
that the girl you like is picturing you unclad the
minute you ask her this question?
#17 What should a guy do to make you wet? Get
straight to the sweet spot. And when she does
answer this question, talk about question #12 again
and get descriptive about her pleasure spots.
#18 If I were whispering all these questions in your
ear, would you be turned on? If you've got the
conversation going this far, she's obviously wet
already. But it always sounds a lot better hearing it
from the girl you're texting.
#19 If you didn't have a boyfriend, do you think we
would have made out with each other? / If I were with
you right now, do you think we would have kissed
each other? This question can actually get you into
her bed, but you need to wait for the last question to
get an invitation from her.
#20 If a guy wants to come over to your place and
make out with you right now, would you like that?
Don't talk about yourself just yet, unless you already
know she wants you to come over. If she answers
"yes", go full speed ahead to her place. Otherwise,
play the seduction game for a few more minutes
before telling her you want to come to her place right
that instant.

How to use Music to win the heart of a woman

Online dating for
teenagers and young
adults seems a
relatively simple pursuit
requiring little more
than an exchange of
photographs and a
passing reference to
some common
interests. And that's it,

A professional approach and guides on how to find true love online

If you have never been
to online dating, you
must take following
steps to find your
soulmate now
Given the rising
popularity of online
dating, there must be
plenty of you out there
who are tempted to try

How elderly people can find love

If you are elderly and
are looking for that
special person that will
complete you, you will
be pleased to know
that there are literally
millions of seniors in
this country that are
searching for elderly
love as well. You don't
have to be alone

How to keep a relationship clean and healthy without conflicts

With all of the advice
out there on how to
rebuild your relationship,
why not look at tips to
keep your already
healthy relationship in
tact? There are plenty
of things that you
should avoid in order to
make your relationship

Hidden facts you need to know about the composition of perfumes and how it is being made

Perfume (Latin "per
fume" meaning
"through smoke") was
highly favored by the
Egyptians, Romans, and
Arabs. In East Asia,
perfumes were incense
based. People used to
make perfumes from
spices and herbs like
bergamot, myrtle,
coriander, conifer resin,
and almond. The use of
flowers came only after
Avicenna, an Iranian
doctor and chemist
showed the process of
distillation, whereby oils
could be extracted from
flowers. In 1370, at the
behest of Queen
Elizabeth of Hungary,
the world's first
modern perfume -
"Hungary Water" was
made by blending
scented oils in alcohol
solution.
The composition of a
perfume is of vital
significance and is
handled by an expert
known as a perfumer,
who deals with primary
scents like rose,
jasmine, cola, etc;
modifiers like esters;
blenders like linalool and
hydroxycitronellol; and
fixatives like resins,
wood scents, and
amber bases. The
resulting scent is
explained in a musical
metaphor of three
'notes', namely, top
notes (consisting of
fast evaporating small
size molecules) like
citrus and ginger
scents; middle notes
(consisting of slow
evaporating medium
size molecules) like
lavender and rose
scents; and base notes
(consisting of slowest
evaporating largest size
molecules) like fixatives
etc. All these notes
work together like a
musical chord.
Perfume oils contain
volatile compounds in
high concentrations and
thus have to be diluted
by solvents, so that
injury is not caused
when applied directly on
skin or clothes. The
common solvent is pure
ethanol or ethanol
mixed with water.
Fractionated coconut oil
or wax, neutral smelling
fats such as jojoba, can
also act as solvents and
dilute the perfume oil.
The perfume oil is
further mixed with
other aromatic
compounds. Generally,
the percentage of
aromatic compounds in
perfume extract is 20%
to 40%; in eau de
parfum is 10% to 30%;
in eau de toilette is 5%
to 20%; and in eau de
cologne is 2% to 5%.
The oil concentration in
a perfume along with
other aromatic
compounds, determines
the intensity, longevity,
and price of the
perfume and thus it is a
closely guarded secret
of every perfumer and
perfume house. By
adjusting the
percentage level and
the notes of the
perfume, variations on
the same brand may be
created like Chanel's
Pour Monsieur and Pour
Monsieur Concentree.
Classification of
perfumes is never
complete, due to its
ever-evolving nature.
The traditional
classification comprises
of categories like Single
Floral, Floral Bouquet,
Ambery, Woody,
Leather, Chypre, and
Fougere; while the
modern classification
comprises of Bright
Floral, Green, Oceanic/
Ozone, Citrus/Fruity,
and Gourmand. In 1983,
Michael Edwards, a
perfume consultant,
created a new
fragrance classification
"The Fragrance Wheel",
which classified and
sub-grouped five
standard families,
namely Floral (Floral,
Soft Floral, Floral
Oriental), Oriental (Soft
Oriental, Oriental,
Woody Oriental), Woody
(Wood, Mossy Woods,
Dry Woods), Fougere
(has fragrance
elements from all the
families), and Fresh
(Citrus, Green, Water).
Perfumery has used a
number of aromatic
sources like plants,
animals, and synthetic
sources in the making
of perfumes. Plants are
used as a source of
aroma compounds and
essential oils. The parts
of plants that are used
are:
1 - Bark (cinnamon,
cascarilla);
2 - Flowers (rose,
jasmine, osmanthus,
tuberose, mimosa,
vanilla);
3 - Blossoms (citrus,
ylang-ylang, clove);
4 - Fruits (apples,
strawberries, cherries,
litsea cubeba, juniper
berry, vanilla, oranges,
lemons, limes,
grapefruit);
5 - Leaves and Twigs
(lavender, patchouli,
citrus, violets, sage,
rosemary, hay,
tomato);
6 - Resins (labdanum,
myrrh, gum benzoin,
Peru balsam,
frankincense/olibanum,
pine, fir, amber, copal);
7 - Roots, Bulbs, and
Rhizomes (vetiver
roots, ginger and iris
rhizomes);
8 - Seeds (coriander,
cocoa, mace,
cardamom, anise,
nutmeg, caraway,
tonka bean);
9 - Woods (agarwood,
birch, rosewood,
sandalwood, pine, birch,
juniper, cedar).

How to stop excessive and non-stop thinking totally

Are you aware that
your mind is always
occupied with
thoughts? Are you
aware that thoughts
constantly demand your
attention, dictate your
behavior and reactions?
Do you sometimes feel
that your mind is going
to explode from
nonstop thinking? Can
you focus your
attention on what you
are doing at any
moment, or are you
constantly distracted
by all kinds of thoughts,
negative thinking or
negative expectations?
You need to learn to
overcome your nonstop
thinking in order to gain
control over your
attention.
Do you sometimes wish
your mind could just
stop thinking for a little
while, and let you enjoy
some rest and peace?
Like an engine, it has to
rest to avoid wear and
tear. It needs some
rest from time to time,
in order to recharge
itself and your body.
The mind often looks
like a cluttered room,
with no free space and
no place to move. When
you empty your room it
will look bigger and
tidier, and it will be
more pleasant to be
there. So it is with your
mind. Remove the
clutter - the
unnecessary thoughts,
the worries and the
fears, and your life
would look happier and
brighter.
You are probably not
constantly aware of
the restlessness of
your mind, because this
became a habit and you
got accustomed to it,
yet, thoughts keep
coming and going,
occupying your mind
every moment of the
day, spending up mental
and emotional energy,
and sometimes making
your head ache.
Tension, strain and
pressure at work and
at home make the mind
even more restless, and
attract more thoughts
into it. Problems,
difficulties, fears,
worries and hurt
feelings increase even
more the mental
restlessness and lack
of inner peace, making
you more acutely aware
of the swarm of
thoughts coming into
your mind and making
you feel helpless. It is
during such times that
you desperately feel
the need for inner peace
and freedom endless
thinking.
When you need to focus
your attention, study or
meditate, you are again
confronted with
thoughts that swarm
into your mind,
disturbing and
distracting your
attention. This also
happens when you are
worried, angry or
emotionally excited. You
feel unable to stop the
flow of thoughts and
emotions that prevent
clear thinking, calmness
or self-control.
During such times you
just want to scream at
the mind to stop
thinking. You feel that
your mind has broken
any control and barriers,
and that it is working
on its own, sometimes
to your detriment. It is
like being helpless in a
rudderless boat in the
midst of the ocean, and
all you want is some
steady and safe land.
It is in times of worry,
stress, fear and strain
that inner peace of
mind is greatly desired
and appreciated.
Actually, inner peace
and freedom from
restless and incessant
thinking is a great boon
anytime and
everywhere. It makes
you happier, stronger,
more confident and
happy.
Imagine how it would
be to live your life,
work, interact with
people, read, watch TV,
travel or do anything
else, without thoughts
and worries claiming
your attention. Just
think how your
concentration would
become stronger and
your five senses
sharper! Just imagine
how your
understanding,
comprehension,
awareness and intuition
will increase!
You need mental and
emotional training, in
order to overcome
nonstop thinking and
free yourself the
compulsion, and it is a
compulsion, to think
incessantly and
involuntary, and fill your
mind with thoughts
that weaken you and
distract your attention.
You also need to
develop some degree of
inner detachment and
mastery over your
mind.
There are no short cuts
to overcoming nonstop
thinking and lack of
inner peace. The aim is
not to stunt your mind
through hypnosis or
subliminal programming,
but to gain real inner
peace, which you can
enjoy while staying
active, pursuing your
goals, and while
handling more
efficiently and
peacefully your daily
affairs of life.
Everything worth having
requires work and
effort. You cannot
become a pilot, an
Olympic champion or an
engineer by listening to
a CD, hypnotizing
yourself or saying some
magic words.
Developing inner
abilities, such as calming
down your mind, is no
different.