Saturday, September 10, 2011

An experience of a Muslim dating

As a single Muslim, you may well have previously visited Muslim matrimonial web-sites in search of a Muslim Match. If Muslim dating seems challenging or even overwhelming, consider these important ideas and safe practices.
You know that Muslim courtship and “dating” are very different than so-called “Western” customs of having a boyfriend and girlfriend relationship. You understand that you can not “date” in an one-on-one relationship that one would describe as intimate. How then does aSingle Muslim, male or female, begin the process of finding a partner to marry? Muslim dating has clearly hit the internet with
Muslim marriage web-sites ready, willing and able to make a Muslim match for you, but safe and effective Muslim dating begins with honesty and follows prudent advice.
You’ve undoubtedly been advised to start by calling upon Allah, making du’a, for guidance in your search for the right individual as a spouse. This can’t be overstated for its importance to you. Prayer opens you to receive blessings. You also know that marriage protects you from sin, so that “half the faith” will be yours in this type of worship. Before you date, recognize that you are really preparing for marriage. Start with the ‘basics.’
For males, you are mature and able to provide for a wife and a family. For females, you are skillful in running a home. Your roles are far more than just these basic ones, so continue to look at your beliefs and request advice from individuals you respect and admire. Consider that you may well have beliefs that could be conflicting.
Females, your Wali not only serves to protect you, but is expected to be wise in his knowledge of marriage and to offer you sound advice. Clear, open communication between you is essential and blessed by Allah who respects your right to make the ultimate choice.
See if you’re using all of the approved methods for finding a partner. First, talk extensively with your mother and father where honesty is primary. Disclose your sincere wishes and expectations even if it is challenging to express them.
Secondly, ask your Imam, ask a scholar, ask any leader of your community whom you admire for ‘referrals.’ Next, approach your friends and their spouses. This is networking at its best because they know you well and they care deeply.
Another ‘method’ is to know you are totally allowed to consider possible partners within your own contacts: co-workers and/or fellow students to name just two. Females should take ‘advantage’ of their Wali who will gladly and responsibly meet with these prospectivepartners directly.
Also, you may consider a marriage agency after doing your due diligence. You must be able to access their respectability and safety.
Lastly, Muslim matrimonial web-sites on the internet might be the most efficient way for a Single Muslim to discover a Muslim match. Muslim principles ought to be clearly evident and not just ‘window dressing.’ Read their privacy statements and their code of conduct. Look carefully at the depth and breadth of their offerings and proceed carefully before registering. While you might meet in public with a potential partner you have met online without the woman’s Wali being present, this is not a safe idea. Let us conclude with the same emphasis we made at the beginning: make du’a to receive Allah’s guidance. Your Muslim online dating experience will be safer, more effective and successful.

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