Does your wife say you act "strange"? Does the term "passive aggressive" come up a lot when people talk about you? If so, you may be fighting with your family pretty often at this point. Obviously, being called "passive aggressive" and a person who "sabotages" others isn't a pretty compliment! You may feel they have no right to say that... and even if you suspect you do, you want to protect yourself from the hurt feelings it will cause to admit to such a thing. However, we want to sit down with you for a moment and point out some reasons why it might be a good idea to explore your family's/wife's opinion carefully. What can you gain from seeking out an answer to the question, "Am I passive aggressive?"
An obvious place to start is that you have no answer for your wife at this point. When she accuses you of being passive aggressive, you are sure to deny it, right? Isn't it true that she has no proof? But similarly, and you may have heard this from her before, you also don't have proof that you aren't passive aggressive.
In admitting that there is a problem within your relationship (even if the problem is just that your behavior is questionable to others) you can bring renewed focus into your relationship. You are showing that, regardless of your own opinion, you respect that your wife has a concern, and that you're willing to address it. This is called being open-minded and fair!
It is always important to find balance and understanding between you and your spouse. Relationship peace builds on a platform of mutual understanding and mutual perception about behaviors and interactions. However, there is another reason to listen to your family: you get to know yourself. Being self-aware is vital to being couple-aware; you have to know yourself and your needs very well in order to fulfill another's needs and/or ask for fulfillment yourself. In denying yourself this chance to get to know your own behaviors, your choices and what they mean, you are denying the relationship a chance to grow and mature. Marital peace is stunted when this grow is denied.
Your task at this moment is to accept the absolute need to understand and grow in your relationship. There is no such thing as "free lunch" in a marriage - you don't just get married, and then give up all responsibility now that you are "legit." If you are having marital problems and don't understand why your wife thinks "passive aggression" is the problem, perhaps it is time you began giving her a little credit. What if she's right?
An obvious place to start is that you have no answer for your wife at this point. When she accuses you of being passive aggressive, you are sure to deny it, right? Isn't it true that she has no proof? But similarly, and you may have heard this from her before, you also don't have proof that you aren't passive aggressive.
In admitting that there is a problem within your relationship (even if the problem is just that your behavior is questionable to others) you can bring renewed focus into your relationship. You are showing that, regardless of your own opinion, you respect that your wife has a concern, and that you're willing to address it. This is called being open-minded and fair!
It is always important to find balance and understanding between you and your spouse. Relationship peace builds on a platform of mutual understanding and mutual perception about behaviors and interactions. However, there is another reason to listen to your family: you get to know yourself. Being self-aware is vital to being couple-aware; you have to know yourself and your needs very well in order to fulfill another's needs and/or ask for fulfillment yourself. In denying yourself this chance to get to know your own behaviors, your choices and what they mean, you are denying the relationship a chance to grow and mature. Marital peace is stunted when this grow is denied.
Your task at this moment is to accept the absolute need to understand and grow in your relationship. There is no such thing as "free lunch" in a marriage - you don't just get married, and then give up all responsibility now that you are "legit." If you are having marital problems and don't understand why your wife thinks "passive aggression" is the problem, perhaps it is time you began giving her a little credit. What if she's right?
Neil Warner is the main "relationship guru," in his blog where the main focus is to increase the quality of love-based relationship experiences, focusing now on healing passive aggressive behaviors.
In a new, ground-breaking "Six-Step System," Neil offers a complete program to identify and change this impact of passive aggression in marriages with love and compassion. When there is emotional abuse, or anger issues or marriage conflict, Neil can provide good support and tools to change behaviors, so anybody can overcome childhood patterns that generate unhealthy relationships and be happier.
Men can also take the Passive Aggressive Test to determine their passive aggressive quotient, removing the current crisis in the home revolving around his question, "Am I passive aggressive?"
Creative Conflict Resolutions.
In a new, ground-breaking "Six-Step System," Neil offers a complete program to identify and change this impact of passive aggression in marriages with love and compassion. When there is emotional abuse, or anger issues or marriage conflict, Neil can provide good support and tools to change behaviors, so anybody can overcome childhood patterns that generate unhealthy relationships and be happier.
Men can also take the Passive Aggressive Test to determine their passive aggressive quotient, removing the current crisis in the home revolving around his question, "Am I passive aggressive?"
Creative Conflict Resolutions.
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